How to Cope with Food Cravings Throughout the Holiday Season

We are now fully into the holiday season. It’s the time of year when we are inundated with treats, displays, parties, and leftover candy pretty much everywhere. You might currently find yourself trapped in a whirlwind of Thanksgiving plans and gatherings that will lead into a month of holiday parties, baking, and special treats everywhere - and this just continues into the new year.

When you struggle with emotional eating and food cravings, the holidays can feel overwhelming. If you struggle with stress and dread related to the holidays, this time of year can be particularly challenging. 

I wanted to offer some support for anyone struggling with food triggers, holiday triggers, or a combination of both. Hopefully you can reference this post all throughout the season!

I recommend having a journal or your notes app handy and consider the following:

When you arrive at the end of the holiday season, when you are welcoming 2025, how do you want to feel? 

What is one small, doable, and desirable goal that you can set for yourself this season? 

What action steps can you take to support how you want to feel to achieve this small goal? 

As you are moving through the season, it’s helpful to check in regularly and ask:

Have I been taking consistent action and using the action steps to ensure that I can feel how I want to feel once the new year arrives?

Am I getting enough balanced nutrition?

Am I hydrating?

It’s so easy to go into autopilot mode and become mindless and distracted and to just numb out when feeling triggered or stressed. This holiday season can be different! If you bring in some daily intention setting, connect with your feelings and experiences consistently, and practice some of the coping strategies below, you may have a different experience this year.

Here are some helpful ways to cope (even just slightly) more effectively this year:

Practice the 3-step cravings protocol - Pause, Reflect, Release: Use this anytime you are experiencing a food craving:

Pause: Take a deep breath, drink some water, relax your body, and create some space between you and the food craving.

Reflect: Use the BLAST technique, ask yourself, “Am I Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed or Sad, or Tired?” If you answer Yes to any of these emotions ask: What does this emotion need? To explore what the feeling you are experiencing is needing you can ask: What is the opposite feeling state? Here are some examples: Boredom needs Stimulation, Loneliness needs Connection, Anger needs Peace, Calm, and/or Kindness, Stress needs Relaxation, Peace and Calm, Sadness needs Uplifting, Tiredness needs Rest.

Release: If it’s truly an emotional craving, name the emotion and the opposite feeling state. Ask yourself, what would it take to get to that opposite feeling state? Practice being present with the feeling and see if you can receive the message of the emotion. You can use a coping skill such as journaling or talking it out to let it go. It can also be helpful to use self-affirming statements to help support the release, such as, “I am capable of handling my emotions,” “I am learning to listen to the messages from my body,” and “I can make a different choice.”

If you are experiencing a more general food craving and you find that you are truly hungry, eat it mindfully and listen to the cues from your body.
If you need additional support if it’s an emotional craving, you can try journaling through this decoding emotions practice:

Ask, what is the message from this emotion? What does it want you to know?

What does it need from you? Is there any action you can take?

Can you mindfully witness the emotion and let it be without needing to change it? Can you radically accept it as it is?

If the holidays are triggering because of others imposing their own thoughts and feelings about food, here are some ways you can practice setting boundaries with others:

Common irritating statements: “Should you be eating that?” “Are you sure you want seconds?” “Wow, that looks like a lot of food/sweets…”

Helpful Boundary Setting Statements for each of the above: “I understand you might not notice that it upsets me, but I don’t like it when you question my food choices.” “I prefer you not comment on my food choices.” “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t comment on my food choices.”

Sometimes during the holiday season you might find yourself with food guilt and shame, or criticizing your own choices. Here are some ways you can practice setting boundaries with yourself:

Common irritating internal statements: “I shouldn’t eat this.” “They are watching everything I’m eating.” “What’s wrong with me.”

Helpful Boundary Setting Statements for each of the above: “I deserve to eat what I am eating.” “I can only control myself and my choices.” “It’s normal to enjoy and indulge in food sometimes.”

One of the most useful ways to make it through the season is to have a plan for remaining present and mindful, to practice consistent self-care, to reflect and check in with yourself daily, and to have a plan of action. Having a plan is where you start; you can practice daily intention setting, daily decisions about your action steps that you will take to achieve your goals, reviewing the pause, reflect, release protocol, and journaling. Self-compassion is a huge part of remaining grounded and surviving the challenges of the holidays.

Practicing mindful eating, intuitive eating, and attuned eating can also support feeling connected to your body and discerning what is emotional and what is truly desired when it comes to food.

• Mindfulness is paying attention from moment to moment with a nonjudgmental awareness.

• Mindful eating is applying mindfulness to the process of eating.

• Intuitive/Attuned eating is listening to your body and making choices based on your relationship with your body. Asking these questions can keep you more mindful and attuned to your body: What do I want? What am I hungry for? How hungry am I? How satisfied did this choice make me feel?

The last tip I will leave you with is to keep a Win-Log. This is a log of positive eating experiences daily, including allowing yourself to eat when you were hungry, finding the right food match for your craving, stopping eating when you felt satiated and satisfied, and being able to savor feeling good overall about your actions and choices.

Putting all of this together will allow more communication, acceptance, balance, and the ability to be more grounded and centered within your choices throughout this season.

When you can manage emotional food cravings more effectively, it creates a feeling of empowerment, deeper self-awareness, and more connection to your body so that you can begin to create a more peaceful relationship with your mind, your body, and food. Using tools to make a choice on how to manage your cravings builds self-compassion, self-trust, and self-empowerment. I hope you have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Decoding Food Cravings

Managing food cravings can be one of the most challenging aspects of healing from emotional eating. Food cravings can occur for any number of reasons, some are more generalized and have little if not nothing to do with your internal emotional world. However, some food cravings are solely driven by emotions. Learning how to understand the difference between a general food craving and an emotional craving can make all the difference in healing your relationship with food.

What is a general food craving? 

There are several reasons a more general food craving may occur. One reason being that the craving is sending you a message from your body about what it may need. A general food craving can signal that your body’s nutrients are out of balance. This could look and feel like having a strong craving for a particular food, and yet you have absolutely no idea why. It could be that your iron levels are out of balance or electrolytes are out of balance, and therefore your body is craving a food that will replenish that particular nutrient.

Another reason a general food craving can occur is as a signal that you are dehydrated. You might be craving a particular food, or possibly a very hydrating type of food, and yet you may not be hungry. This can be addressed by drinking water when you first notice a food craving and then seeing if it helps it subside.

Another common cause of general food cravings is that your blood sugar is too high or too low. Blood sugar imbalances can wreck havoc on your system as a whole. For many people, this can be remedied by eating regularly, and especially by pairing protein with fiber to help balance blood sugar levels. Having a leafy green vegetable at the start of your meal can help to mitigate a blood sugar spike, as can taking a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar diluted in 3-6 ounces of water prior to a meal. If you are concerned about your blood sugar, you can talk with your doctor about testing and continuous glucose monitoring.

One big trigger for general food cravings is that they can be a sign that your diet is too repetitive or boring. If you are having the same foods day in and day out for your meals or snacks, and you find that you are craving other foods, then you might want to switch up your meals more frequently. Having variety in your dietary intake can be a more satisfying way of eating. If you are bored with your food, your cravings may be signaling that you need more flavors, more joy, and more variation in your food choices. This will help create greater satisfaction and satiation which helps to reduce food cravings.

Another big trigger for general food cravings can be restricting yourself to certain foods. Even if you are feeling satiated and you are receiving adequate caloric intake, if you have off-limits foods (for a reason other than an allergy/intolerance/physical discomfort caused by the food), then your mind may be rebelling by craving those very foods because it is feeling controlled. Opening up your food options, practicing nonjudgment and mindful eating with your food choices can help reduce this type of food craving.

The last general food craving I’ll mention here is that cravings can be triggered by your senses. If you just saw an ad for a particular food, or heard someone talking about a particular food or even smelling a particular food you might not be able to shake the craving. Your senses are very powerful, and when you have a craving due to seeing, smelling, or hearing about a particular food, that is a general craving. Sometimes you also may just have a “taste” for something for no specific reason, but yet it is not an emotionally driven craving or desire for the food. 

What is an emotional food craving?

Emotional food cravings are very different than general food cravings in that the driving force behind the craving is emotional. Most likely the emotion you are experiencing is uncomfortable and triggers a desire to numb out, avoid, or distract from the discomfort. This becomes cyclical and can act like an override to your system. When you experience that emotion, your system automatically compensates by creating the food craving. Giving in to emotional food cravings can cause a myriad of even further side effects. These side effects may include a lack of emotional awareness, possible unwanted weight gain, hopelessness, anxiety, and frustration. It often feels out of control and can create cycles of further emotional distress such as guilt and shame.

Another type of emotional food craving can be more subtle. These cravings represents something that may be lacking or subtly showing up emotionally in your life. For example, if you are craving sugar, you may be lacking sweetness in your life and you may benefit from more connection with yourself and others. If you are craving something salty, that may indicate that you are more stressed or anxious and need more grounding and peacefulness through relaxation, mindfulness, or other soothing activities. Cravings for something crunchy can indicate feeling emotions such as anger, frustration, stress, or boredom. This may be better served finding an outlet that increases mental and physical stimulation and movement in your life.

How can I cope with these food cravings?

Coping with food cravings is something that I support people with in my practice all the time. Food cravings are common, and yet many people feel alone in their struggles. I have a three-step cravings protocol that I recommend that many people find to help manage their food cravings far more effectively. It can be implemented in real time if you are fully aware of the craving; however, it can also be practiced in retrospect, which allows more opportunity to feel empowered as you grow and strengthen your self-awareness and emotional-awareness muscles!

The first step is to pause. During this pause, you might take some slow, deep breaths. You might set a timer for five minutes and make a plan to not eat during that time. You might have a glass of water. This pause is essential because it will help you to create more space between the trigger and your ability to respond to the trigger with more intention. 

Step two is to reflect. I recommend the BLAST method. Ask yourself, “Am I Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed or Sad, or Tired?” These are some of the most common emotions that trigger emotional eating for many people. While the internal emotional landscape is far more nuanced and there are so many emotions you may be experiencing, this can be a great place to start—you can always dig deeper when needed. During this reflection phase, you are learning to create space and explore with the desire to have greater self-awareness and emotional acceptance. 

The third step is to release. After pausing and reflecting, if you determine that it is NOT an emotional craving and you are actually hungry, eat what you are craving in a mindful, intentional, and peaceful way. Be truly present with your food, enjoy the taste, and the process of eating. Eat slowly and savor in the flavor and the experience of actually enjoying eating this food. Check in with your body when you are done; consider, How does this food make me feel? Learn from these messages that your body provides you based on full sensations, energy levels, digestion, satiety, and any residual cravings. This creates greater self-awareness, self-empowerment, and connection to your body. This process improves your relationship with food, your body, and yourself. 

If you find it IS an emotional craving, the release process could look like taking time to journal about the emotion you are experiencing, and spending some time trying to understand the message that the uncomfortable emotion or feeling state is trying to communicate with you. Other ways you can practice the release may be talking to someone to share your emotions or practicing deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, or movement to release the emotion mentally and physically. You can also try using one of the following self-affirming statements: “I am capable of handling my emotions.” “I can make a different choice.” “I am learning to listen to messages from my body.” 

However you choose to release the craving, be it a general or emotional food craving, you create more present moment awareness to become more conscious and empowered. You are developing and growing your self-awareness, which is what all growth requires and where it always begins. You will also become more connected to your inner emotional world and understand your unique needs. The more you practice the three steps - pause, reflect, and release - the more you will create opportunities to connect to your mind and body in a more peaceful, balanced, and connected way.

Beginning to Heal Food Guilt & Shame

When I’m working with someone on healing from emotional eating, an eating disorder, and body-image struggles in my therapy practice, healing the underlying guilt and shame is always a significant part of the process. Guilt and shame are two of the most common uncomfortable emotions that seem to overwhelm and plague those who encounter challenges with food and body-image.

So many people struggle with emotional eating, eating disorders, and body-image challenges, and when we first begin the work the therapy, their struggles and patterns with food feel impossible to change. When beginning the work it feels impossible to imagine that there is a path towards healing these patterns, and therefore, to healing the extremely uncomfortable emotions of guilt and shame.

All of our emotions are messages about how we are experiencing, or responding to the present moment. There are no good or bad emotions, although some are far more desirable to experience, and some are so uncomfortable that we subconsciously work really hard to not have to feel them. 

Some emotions we experience are congruent with our current experience and others are not. Guilt and shame are emotions that tend to be old, and not necessarily congruent with what is happening in the present moment. When we break it down to the root of these emotions, the message of guilt is “I did something wrong", and the message of shame is “I am something wrong.”

We can liken the experience of feeling guilty as a message from our conscience. If we did something wrong our conscience wants us to make it right, this is really useful, but only when it’s congruent with our present experience. If we ate something we deem as “bad” that does not mean we did something wrong, that does not warrant the discomfort of guilt. Shame goes deeper, Brene Brown defines it as, “Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” When we are experiencing guilt, we can examine it and understand fairly easily whether or not it’s congruent with our present experience. However, shame is much more uncomfortable, and more challenging to cope with for most of us.

When we experience shame, we often experience many uncomfortable emotions at the same time. When experiencing shame, there are often feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness as well. If shame is experienced internally as, “there is something wrong with my very being itself,” if shame is saying, “I’m small, flawed, and not good enough,” then in that moment, I’m experiencing myself as deeply unworthy. When we’ve experienced shame as a result of childhood trauma, or any trauma really, it becomes difficult to not get stuck in a shame spiral.

Many people I work with experience frustration in relation to their patterns with food. Those who struggle with binge-eating, or with feeling powerless to stop eating when they are full, or any other disordered patterns, often express feelings of guilt and shame. If guilt is experienced, we can break it down together in therapy sessions. We can explore, what is the guilt about? Did you actually do something wrong? We can then work to reframe the guilt. When it’s reframed into an opportunity to see how there can be something learned from this experience, that when I’m feeling out of control with food like this in the future, what small steps can be taken to begin to alter this pattern. Through verbal processing and reframing we can search for ways to find more grace, compassion, and therefore greater self-awareness, which is healing. When we apply curiosity to the guilt, it can be released, and we can have a greater understanding of why it happened in the first place. Once there is greater self-awareness and self-compassion, it becomes more likely that we can have the ability to handle a future similar circumstance with food more mindfully. When we can reframe the guilt, and recognize that “I didn’t do anything wrong, I can learn from this,” we feel empowered, hopeful, and more certain of our ability to change. 

When people struggle with this process of healing food and body-image challenges, and they feel it’ll be impossible to change, I prompt them to consider a time when something seemed impossible, and yet they did learn it, and now it comes easily and naturally. Examples often include riding a bike, rollerskating, learning an instrument, a new skill at work, and so on. Most people can identify with this ability, and it becomes an anecdote for the guilt. When you heal your guilt, there is more room for self-compassion, more willingness to use challenges and struggles as learning opportunities rather than it becoming a shame spiral. 

If the initial internal response of guilt with food struggles can be caught, reframed, and worked through in an empowering way, most people feel hopeful and ready for the challenge of learning new ways of being with food, their bodies, and themselves. They can trust that it may be daunting, however, it’s not impossible. Unfortunately, if it has been internalized over and over and over again that “I did something wrong, (guilt)” so therefore, “I’m a bad person, there’s something wrong with me (shame),” this internalized guilt becomes shame. The shame then becomes a dark cloud of pain inside and all around you. If you have experienced trauma in the past, then the shame can often feel familiar, and can lead to a state of internal suffering, anxiety, and depression, as well as an increased likelihood of an eating disorder. Shame is not logical, it’s a felt inner experience of deep pain and suffering.

Healing shame starts with naming the shame for what it is. Understanding and exploring where you picked up the negative internalized belief that “I am something wrong” in the first place is essential to healing. Healing shame begins with talking about it, naming it, and allowing ourselves to truly feel it, to learn from it, to hold it with curiosity and compassion. Only then can we begin to learn what the negative internalized beliefs are that we picked up, such as, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am unlovable, (just to name a few) and to heal where these beliefs were created or reinforced. EMDR therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), traditional talk therapy, and many other beneficial therapeutic styles, can all help work through the traumas and experiences that have created or reinforced these negative beliefs. Through the therapeutic process you can call out the shame for what it is, work through it, and ultimately heal it. 

Shame is one of the most painful, and therefore one of the most likely emotions to be avoided. It takes time to learn about your personal experience of shame. To understand where you picked it up, to identify how you experience it mentally, physically, and emotionally is essential. Be patient with yourself as you learn the process of listening to your body, to your internal language, and your true self. You then can benefit from developing an awareness of your personal window of tolerance. How long can you sit with the shame before it feels as though you want to eat, restrict, check-out, numb-out, or escape altogether? This is all helpful information, best when experienced and worked through in therapy. Learning how to be with yourself within your window of tolerance allows you to grow. Know that you are learning the new and difficult skills of emotional awareness and emotional experiencing. This is not easy work. Please be patient with yourself. Just like riding a bike or roller skating, emotional awareness and experiencing are worthwhile skills to stick with, although you might get a little scuffed up along the way. Once you learn the skills and integrate them, these new ways of being with food, your body and yourself, will be yours to keep.

One thing I know for sure after talking to people in a therapy setting for more than twenty years, is that no one gets to escape feeling pain and discomfort in this life. I also know for sure that no one deserves to live in a state of shame, especially those who struggle with food and body-image struggles. Once you can understand and release your shame, reframe any guilt experienced in the moment, you will see the new learning that can take place. Once you feel a sense of hope, you can see it as a skill that you just don’t know yet, but you can learn how to be mindful and intuitive when it comes to your food choices. With this hard work you move from shame toward self-empowerment. Ultimately, the goal of healing is to feel that you are always, unconditionally worthy. The goal of healing is to know that you are the expert on what your body wants and needs, and that you are enough—now, in this present moment, just as you are existing as you.