A Yogic Approach to Healing Emotional Eating

When you hear the word yoga, what comes to mind? For many people it’s a picture of a very flexible person doing something super bendy, but very unapproachable for most bodies. When I took my first yoga class, I was intimidated but interested. I took a pretty strait forward class that moved from static posture to static posture concentrating on form, alignment, and awareness of both my body and breath in a way that I never had before. As someone who tends towards anxiety and who carries a lot of tension in my body, it had a huge impact on me. I felt different in a way I couldn’t specifically explain—and wasn’t just a physical shift, but a mental and emotional shift as well. 

When I set out to become a yoga teacher in training, the very first class was all about the philosophy of yoga. When my teacher said that the yoga postures are only one small slice of what yoga is all about, my head nearly exploded! He then went on to say that the whole purpose of the yoga postures are so that we can sit and meditate comfortably. He said that the postures are a part of the yogic process so that they can assist in our ability to meditate by allowing our body to be less of a distraction to going inward, and at this, my head did explode—in the best possible way. I saw something I’d looked at in only one way from a whole new perspective, and this new perspective changed my life.

Yoga philosophy is non-dogmatic. It is not based on any religion and does not require any beliefs. It is a series of ways to grow your self-awareness from all angles so that you can fully know yourself and express your true self in an accepting, peaceful, and compassionate way. Yoga philosophy has nothing to do with what to do, but with how to be. There are 8-limbs of yoga, and the postures are only one of those limbs. Each limb builds on one another so that full self-awareness and self-actualization can occur. 

When you struggle with emotional eating, you are moving further away from yourself, you are entering a form of self-abandonment and escape. Applying yoga philosophy to healing emotional eating can be an absolutely transformative way to heal. Yoga philosophy allows a way to create ease with emotions, full self-acceptance and self-compassion, and a way to be calm, grounded, and at peace internally—no matter what.

The first two limbs of yoga offer concepts of how to be with yourself, others, and within the world. They are intended to be a guide to how to feel most connected to our true nature and include concepts such as non-harming, truthfulness, non-stealing/craving, moderation, and non-possessiveness. They also consider concepts such as purity, contentment, consistency in practices, self-study, and surrender. The third limb is about using physical postures to build both strength and flexibility in your body so that you can feel comfortable and at ease physically. This limb relating to your physical body is also about embodiment and creating a healthy relationship with your body. The forth limb is about harnessing the power of your breath for mental, physical, and emotional fortitude. The fifth limb is about releasing the five senses and becoming deeply relaxed. The sixth and seventh limbs are about creating mental concentration and moving into a deeper state of meditation. The eighth limb is a culmination of all of the benefits of the first seven limbs into transcendence.

So how do these yogic concepts help with healing emotional eating? This process offers a way to be with yourself that is exploratory, curious, compassionate, and growth-focused. When integrating these concepts you become more grounded, accepting, comfortable, curious, and self-aware. Very often the part of yourself that desires to numb out or avoid discomfort through food is afraid of what will happen if you feel these uncomfortable feelings, or change your internal and behavioral patterns. This part of you is actually functioning as a protection from pain, discomfort, or suffering that it does not want you to have to handle, and is worried you possibly couldn’t handle without the old coping strategy of emotional eating. Through the yogic process, you become more curious about, and comfortable with your feelings, your experiences, and your body. Through exploring emotional eating through the lens of yoga philosophy, your mood becomes less of the driver of how to be, and more of a guide to what you need. If this all seems a little out there, I get it. I hope you will approach these concepts at least with curiosity and an open mind. However, if I’ve piqued your interest, which I hope I have, I will be outlining the process in the next few blog posts to break down each of the 8-limbs of yoga, and how to apply them with how to be with yourself, your body, your nervous system, your mind, as well as with food. 

Beginning to Heal Food Guilt & Shame

When I’m working with someone on healing from emotional eating, an eating disorder, and body-image struggles in my therapy practice, healing the underlying guilt and shame is always a significant part of the process. Guilt and shame are two of the most common uncomfortable emotions that seem to overwhelm and plague those who encounter challenges with food and body-image.

So many people struggle with emotional eating, eating disorders, and body-image challenges, and when we first begin the work the therapy, their struggles and patterns with food feel impossible to change. When beginning the work it feels impossible to imagine that there is a path towards healing these patterns, and therefore, to healing the extremely uncomfortable emotions of guilt and shame.

All of our emotions are messages about how we are experiencing, or responding to the present moment. There are no good or bad emotions, although some are far more desirable to experience, and some are so uncomfortable that we subconsciously work really hard to not have to feel them. 

Some emotions we experience are congruent with our current experience and others are not. Guilt and shame are emotions that tend to be old, and not necessarily congruent with what is happening in the present moment. When we break it down to the root of these emotions, the message of guilt is “I did something wrong", and the message of shame is “I am something wrong.”

We can liken the experience of feeling guilty as a message from our conscience. If we did something wrong our conscience wants us to make it right, this is really useful, but only when it’s congruent with our present experience. If we ate something we deem as “bad” that does not mean we did something wrong, that does not warrant the discomfort of guilt. Shame goes deeper, Brene Brown defines it as, “Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” When we are experiencing guilt, we can examine it and understand fairly easily whether or not it’s congruent with our present experience. However, shame is much more uncomfortable, and more challenging to cope with for most of us.

When we experience shame, we often experience many uncomfortable emotions at the same time. When experiencing shame, there are often feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness as well. If shame is experienced internally as, “there is something wrong with my very being itself,” if shame is saying, “I’m small, flawed, and not good enough,” then in that moment, I’m experiencing myself as deeply unworthy. When we’ve experienced shame as a result of childhood trauma, or any trauma really, it becomes difficult to not get stuck in a shame spiral.

Many people I work with experience frustration in relation to their patterns with food. Those who struggle with binge-eating, or with feeling powerless to stop eating when they are full, or any other disordered patterns, often express feelings of guilt and shame. If guilt is experienced, we can break it down together in therapy sessions. We can explore, what is the guilt about? Did you actually do something wrong? We can then work to reframe the guilt. When it’s reframed into an opportunity to see how there can be something learned from this experience, that when I’m feeling out of control with food like this in the future, what small steps can be taken to begin to alter this pattern. Through verbal processing and reframing we can search for ways to find more grace, compassion, and therefore greater self-awareness, which is healing. When we apply curiosity to the guilt, it can be released, and we can have a greater understanding of why it happened in the first place. Once there is greater self-awareness and self-compassion, it becomes more likely that we can have the ability to handle a future similar circumstance with food more mindfully. When we can reframe the guilt, and recognize that “I didn’t do anything wrong, I can learn from this,” we feel empowered, hopeful, and more certain of our ability to change. 

When people struggle with this process of healing food and body-image challenges, and they feel it’ll be impossible to change, I prompt them to consider a time when something seemed impossible, and yet they did learn it, and now it comes easily and naturally. Examples often include riding a bike, rollerskating, learning an instrument, a new skill at work, and so on. Most people can identify with this ability, and it becomes an anecdote for the guilt. When you heal your guilt, there is more room for self-compassion, more willingness to use challenges and struggles as learning opportunities rather than it becoming a shame spiral. 

If the initial internal response of guilt with food struggles can be caught, reframed, and worked through in an empowering way, most people feel hopeful and ready for the challenge of learning new ways of being with food, their bodies, and themselves. They can trust that it may be daunting, however, it’s not impossible. Unfortunately, if it has been internalized over and over and over again that “I did something wrong, (guilt)” so therefore, “I’m a bad person, there’s something wrong with me (shame),” this internalized guilt becomes shame. The shame then becomes a dark cloud of pain inside and all around you. If you have experienced trauma in the past, then the shame can often feel familiar, and can lead to a state of internal suffering, anxiety, and depression, as well as an increased likelihood of an eating disorder. Shame is not logical, it’s a felt inner experience of deep pain and suffering.

Healing shame starts with naming the shame for what it is. Understanding and exploring where you picked up the negative internalized belief that “I am something wrong” in the first place is essential to healing. Healing shame begins with talking about it, naming it, and allowing ourselves to truly feel it, to learn from it, to hold it with curiosity and compassion. Only then can we begin to learn what the negative internalized beliefs are that we picked up, such as, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am unlovable, (just to name a few) and to heal where these beliefs were created or reinforced. EMDR therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), traditional talk therapy, and many other beneficial therapeutic styles, can all help work through the traumas and experiences that have created or reinforced these negative beliefs. Through the therapeutic process you can call out the shame for what it is, work through it, and ultimately heal it. 

Shame is one of the most painful, and therefore one of the most likely emotions to be avoided. It takes time to learn about your personal experience of shame. To understand where you picked it up, to identify how you experience it mentally, physically, and emotionally is essential. Be patient with yourself as you learn the process of listening to your body, to your internal language, and your true self. You then can benefit from developing an awareness of your personal window of tolerance. How long can you sit with the shame before it feels as though you want to eat, restrict, check-out, numb-out, or escape altogether? This is all helpful information, best when experienced and worked through in therapy. Learning how to be with yourself within your window of tolerance allows you to grow. Know that you are learning the new and difficult skills of emotional awareness and emotional experiencing. This is not easy work. Please be patient with yourself. Just like riding a bike or roller skating, emotional awareness and experiencing are worthwhile skills to stick with, although you might get a little scuffed up along the way. Once you learn the skills and integrate them, these new ways of being with food, your body and yourself, will be yours to keep.

One thing I know for sure after talking to people in a therapy setting for more than twenty years, is that no one gets to escape feeling pain and discomfort in this life. I also know for sure that no one deserves to live in a state of shame, especially those who struggle with food and body-image struggles. Once you can understand and release your shame, reframe any guilt experienced in the moment, you will see the new learning that can take place. Once you feel a sense of hope, you can see it as a skill that you just don’t know yet, but you can learn how to be mindful and intuitive when it comes to your food choices. With this hard work you move from shame toward self-empowerment. Ultimately, the goal of healing is to feel that you are always, unconditionally worthy. The goal of healing is to know that you are the expert on what your body wants and needs, and that you are enough—now, in this present moment, just as you are existing as you. 

Inner Strength Focus: Vitality to Heal Emotional Eating

Having a sense of inner vitality requires strength in both mind and body. Vitality as a personal strength requires choosing your health and wellbeing over temporary desire. When you are building and using the strength of vitality you are living in alignment with how you want to feel. Feeling vital requires opening yourself to the foundations of wellness: nutrition, movement, sleep and relaxation.

If you want to be well, feel well and live well, it is helpful to engage in a daily wellness practices. The path to wellness is individual and is best when it’s intuitive and aligns with your personal needs, schedule and natural rhythms rather than feeling like something you have to do, or something that is out of alignment with how you would choose to live. When you are truly approaching life with a sense of vitality as an inner strength, the choices do not feel like a chore, they don’t feel like a punishment, they feel natural, uplifting and ultimately enhance your life.

When you apply the inner strength of vitality to living in alignment with a mindful approach to making peace with food, mindfulness is at the core. When you are making mindful choices about how to treat yourself, your own inner wisdom and intuition is your most effective and useful guide. When you are making forced choices, you are giving away your power (like to a fad diet or exercise regimen) and it is unlikely that you will maintain those choices. 

Emotional eating zaps our vitality because it is the stuffing, avoiding and denying ourselves from feeling our feelings. Emotional eating does not leave much space for vitality and creates a drain on energy and emotional and physical wellbeing. When you approach managing your emotional world with vitality and a sense that emotions are neither good nor bad rather that they are valuable information about our inner world, you will build vitality through emotional awareness. When you are emotionally aware and no longer avoid or attempt to stuff your feelings with food, you naturally open up to honing the inner strength of vitality.

Begin with a simple and doable daily practice that will allow you to get in touch with your emotions. This could be journaling and/or a meditation practice. If you feel very out of touch with your emotions it can be beneficial to receive additional support such as therapy or a support group to help create a deeper awareness and acceptance of your emotions. When you approach the process of emotional awareness with vitality, it will create alignment with feeling empowered and healthy on a deeper level than simply attempting to eat well and exercise to control or maintain a particular physique. When you address the underlying emotions you will make choices based on experiencing an inner exuberance and truly living in vitality and vibrancy.

Begin today with noticing where you are making choices about your vitality that are NOT in alignment with how you want to feel. Ask yourself if you are engaging in certain wellness practices, why you have chosen these particular ones and is it for an outcome only—OR for a consistent experience of vitality?

Where are you not in alignment with how you want to feel?

Pick ONE area of wellness and begin to focus solely there. If it is nutrition, with each food choice you make throughout the day, ask yourself if it will increase your vitality. If not, it may not be the best choice as it is not in alignment with how you ultimately want to feel and the strength you are attempting to build. If the food choice WILL increase your vitality through pleasure, energy and possibly a shared positive experience, and yet you have been taught to label that particular food as a “bad” or “off-limits” food, remind yourself that vitality and nutrition are not about being perfect. In fact, restriction leads to overeating, less pleasure derived from eating and feelings of guilt and shame. If there is anything that will dampen your vitality it’s feeling guilt and shame surrounding your food choices—and you will only remain stuck in the damaging cycle of emotional eating.

This week pick ONE area of wellness (nutrition, movement, sleep or relaxation) where you’d like to increase your vitality. Start small and work to create this shift because it feels intuitively and authentically like what will improve your vitality and then allow it to continue to grow.