A Yogic Approach to Healing Emotional Eating

When you hear the word yoga, what comes to mind? For many people it’s a picture of a very flexible person doing something super bendy, but very unapproachable for most bodies. When I took my first yoga class, I was intimidated but interested. I took a pretty strait forward class that moved from static posture to static posture concentrating on form, alignment, and awareness of both my body and breath in a way that I never had before. As someone who tends towards anxiety and who carries a lot of tension in my body, it had a huge impact on me. I felt different in a way I couldn’t specifically explain—and wasn’t just a physical shift, but a mental and emotional shift as well. 

When I set out to become a yoga teacher in training, the very first class was all about the philosophy of yoga. When my teacher said that the yoga postures are only one small slice of what yoga is all about, my head nearly exploded! He then went on to say that the whole purpose of the yoga postures are so that we can sit and meditate comfortably. He said that the postures are a part of the yogic process so that they can assist in our ability to meditate by allowing our body to be less of a distraction to going inward, and at this, my head did explode—in the best possible way. I saw something I’d looked at in only one way from a whole new perspective, and this new perspective changed my life.

Yoga philosophy is non-dogmatic. It is not based on any religion and does not require any beliefs. It is a series of ways to grow your self-awareness from all angles so that you can fully know yourself and express your true self in an accepting, peaceful, and compassionate way. Yoga philosophy has nothing to do with what to do, but with how to be. There are 8-limbs of yoga, and the postures are only one of those limbs. Each limb builds on one another so that full self-awareness and self-actualization can occur. 

When you struggle with emotional eating, you are moving further away from yourself, you are entering a form of self-abandonment and escape. Applying yoga philosophy to healing emotional eating can be an absolutely transformative way to heal. Yoga philosophy allows a way to create ease with emotions, full self-acceptance and self-compassion, and a way to be calm, grounded, and at peace internally—no matter what.

The first two limbs of yoga offer concepts of how to be with yourself, others, and within the world. They are intended to be a guide to how to feel most connected to our true nature and include concepts such as non-harming, truthfulness, non-stealing/craving, moderation, and non-possessiveness. They also consider concepts such as purity, contentment, consistency in practices, self-study, and surrender. The third limb is about using physical postures to build both strength and flexibility in your body so that you can feel comfortable and at ease physically. This limb relating to your physical body is also about embodiment and creating a healthy relationship with your body. The forth limb is about harnessing the power of your breath for mental, physical, and emotional fortitude. The fifth limb is about releasing the five senses and becoming deeply relaxed. The sixth and seventh limbs are about creating mental concentration and moving into a deeper state of meditation. The eighth limb is a culmination of all of the benefits of the first seven limbs into transcendence.

So how do these yogic concepts help with healing emotional eating? This process offers a way to be with yourself that is exploratory, curious, compassionate, and growth-focused. When integrating these concepts you become more grounded, accepting, comfortable, curious, and self-aware. Very often the part of yourself that desires to numb out or avoid discomfort through food is afraid of what will happen if you feel these uncomfortable feelings, or change your internal and behavioral patterns. This part of you is actually functioning as a protection from pain, discomfort, or suffering that it does not want you to have to handle, and is worried you possibly couldn’t handle without the old coping strategy of emotional eating. Through the yogic process, you become more curious about, and comfortable with your feelings, your experiences, and your body. Through exploring emotional eating through the lens of yoga philosophy, your mood becomes less of the driver of how to be, and more of a guide to what you need. If this all seems a little out there, I get it. I hope you will approach these concepts at least with curiosity and an open mind. However, if I’ve piqued your interest, which I hope I have, I will be outlining the process in the next few blog posts to break down each of the 8-limbs of yoga, and how to apply them with how to be with yourself, your body, your nervous system, your mind, as well as with food. 

Beginning to Heal Food Guilt & Shame

When I’m working with someone on healing from emotional eating, an eating disorder, and body-image struggles in my therapy practice, healing the underlying guilt and shame is always a significant part of the process. Guilt and shame are two of the most common uncomfortable emotions that seem to overwhelm and plague those who encounter challenges with food and body-image.

So many people struggle with emotional eating, eating disorders, and body-image challenges, and when we first begin the work the therapy, their struggles and patterns with food feel impossible to change. When beginning the work it feels impossible to imagine that there is a path towards healing these patterns, and therefore, to healing the extremely uncomfortable emotions of guilt and shame.

All of our emotions are messages about how we are experiencing, or responding to the present moment. There are no good or bad emotions, although some are far more desirable to experience, and some are so uncomfortable that we subconsciously work really hard to not have to feel them. 

Some emotions we experience are congruent with our current experience and others are not. Guilt and shame are emotions that tend to be old, and not necessarily congruent with what is happening in the present moment. When we break it down to the root of these emotions, the message of guilt is “I did something wrong", and the message of shame is “I am something wrong.”

We can liken the experience of feeling guilty as a message from our conscience. If we did something wrong our conscience wants us to make it right, this is really useful, but only when it’s congruent with our present experience. If we ate something we deem as “bad” that does not mean we did something wrong, that does not warrant the discomfort of guilt. Shame goes deeper, Brene Brown defines it as, “Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough.” When we are experiencing guilt, we can examine it and understand fairly easily whether or not it’s congruent with our present experience. However, shame is much more uncomfortable, and more challenging to cope with for most of us.

When we experience shame, we often experience many uncomfortable emotions at the same time. When experiencing shame, there are often feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness as well. If shame is experienced internally as, “there is something wrong with my very being itself,” if shame is saying, “I’m small, flawed, and not good enough,” then in that moment, I’m experiencing myself as deeply unworthy. When we’ve experienced shame as a result of childhood trauma, or any trauma really, it becomes difficult to not get stuck in a shame spiral.

Many people I work with experience frustration in relation to their patterns with food. Those who struggle with binge-eating, or with feeling powerless to stop eating when they are full, or any other disordered patterns, often express feelings of guilt and shame. If guilt is experienced, we can break it down together in therapy sessions. We can explore, what is the guilt about? Did you actually do something wrong? We can then work to reframe the guilt. When it’s reframed into an opportunity to see how there can be something learned from this experience, that when I’m feeling out of control with food like this in the future, what small steps can be taken to begin to alter this pattern. Through verbal processing and reframing we can search for ways to find more grace, compassion, and therefore greater self-awareness, which is healing. When we apply curiosity to the guilt, it can be released, and we can have a greater understanding of why it happened in the first place. Once there is greater self-awareness and self-compassion, it becomes more likely that we can have the ability to handle a future similar circumstance with food more mindfully. When we can reframe the guilt, and recognize that “I didn’t do anything wrong, I can learn from this,” we feel empowered, hopeful, and more certain of our ability to change. 

When people struggle with this process of healing food and body-image challenges, and they feel it’ll be impossible to change, I prompt them to consider a time when something seemed impossible, and yet they did learn it, and now it comes easily and naturally. Examples often include riding a bike, rollerskating, learning an instrument, a new skill at work, and so on. Most people can identify with this ability, and it becomes an anecdote for the guilt. When you heal your guilt, there is more room for self-compassion, more willingness to use challenges and struggles as learning opportunities rather than it becoming a shame spiral. 

If the initial internal response of guilt with food struggles can be caught, reframed, and worked through in an empowering way, most people feel hopeful and ready for the challenge of learning new ways of being with food, their bodies, and themselves. They can trust that it may be daunting, however, it’s not impossible. Unfortunately, if it has been internalized over and over and over again that “I did something wrong, (guilt)” so therefore, “I’m a bad person, there’s something wrong with me (shame),” this internalized guilt becomes shame. The shame then becomes a dark cloud of pain inside and all around you. If you have experienced trauma in the past, then the shame can often feel familiar, and can lead to a state of internal suffering, anxiety, and depression, as well as an increased likelihood of an eating disorder. Shame is not logical, it’s a felt inner experience of deep pain and suffering.

Healing shame starts with naming the shame for what it is. Understanding and exploring where you picked up the negative internalized belief that “I am something wrong” in the first place is essential to healing. Healing shame begins with talking about it, naming it, and allowing ourselves to truly feel it, to learn from it, to hold it with curiosity and compassion. Only then can we begin to learn what the negative internalized beliefs are that we picked up, such as, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am unlovable, (just to name a few) and to heal where these beliefs were created or reinforced. EMDR therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), traditional talk therapy, and many other beneficial therapeutic styles, can all help work through the traumas and experiences that have created or reinforced these negative beliefs. Through the therapeutic process you can call out the shame for what it is, work through it, and ultimately heal it. 

Shame is one of the most painful, and therefore one of the most likely emotions to be avoided. It takes time to learn about your personal experience of shame. To understand where you picked it up, to identify how you experience it mentally, physically, and emotionally is essential. Be patient with yourself as you learn the process of listening to your body, to your internal language, and your true self. You then can benefit from developing an awareness of your personal window of tolerance. How long can you sit with the shame before it feels as though you want to eat, restrict, check-out, numb-out, or escape altogether? This is all helpful information, best when experienced and worked through in therapy. Learning how to be with yourself within your window of tolerance allows you to grow. Know that you are learning the new and difficult skills of emotional awareness and emotional experiencing. This is not easy work. Please be patient with yourself. Just like riding a bike or roller skating, emotional awareness and experiencing are worthwhile skills to stick with, although you might get a little scuffed up along the way. Once you learn the skills and integrate them, these new ways of being with food, your body and yourself, will be yours to keep.

One thing I know for sure after talking to people in a therapy setting for more than twenty years, is that no one gets to escape feeling pain and discomfort in this life. I also know for sure that no one deserves to live in a state of shame, especially those who struggle with food and body-image struggles. Once you can understand and release your shame, reframe any guilt experienced in the moment, you will see the new learning that can take place. Once you feel a sense of hope, you can see it as a skill that you just don’t know yet, but you can learn how to be mindful and intuitive when it comes to your food choices. With this hard work you move from shame toward self-empowerment. Ultimately, the goal of healing is to feel that you are always, unconditionally worthy. The goal of healing is to know that you are the expert on what your body wants and needs, and that you are enough—now, in this present moment, just as you are existing as you. 

Spring Cleaning for Emotional Eating

During this time of the year, you might spend some extra time cleaning out your home. Clearing out the cobwebs and dust bunnies that have collected in the corners over the winter, changing out clothing for the new season and getting rid of old stuff that might be cluttering your space and fogging your mind. This process requires a lot of effort and when it is completed it feels so refreshing. After a good spring cleaning you feel lighter, calmer, and accomplished don’t you? I know I love a clean and clutter free space, I just don’t always love doing the work it takes to get there!

While you might spend this time cleaning your physical space, do you ever think about spring cleaning your pantry, fridge, habits and emotions? Spring is a time of renewal and hope. With more light, energy, nature and bright colors all around, spring provides inspiration. If you have become bogged down by emotional and stress eating and these habits feel frustrating, NOW is the time to clear it all out.

When you consider spring cleaning for emotional eating, it’s helpful to work in the direction that makes the most sense for you. You might begin from clearing your pantry + fridge to then clearing your habits and emotions. However, you might feel more comfortable working from the other way around, where you clear out emotions + habits and then shift to kitchen. No matter which direction suits you the best, the outcome will definitely be the same. Through this process of spring cleaning for emotional eating, you can refresh and renew your relationship with food—and with yourself.

Spring Cleaning the Pantry + Fridge

While it might make more sense for you to work from the other direction, l will start with clearing out the pantry and fridge first. When you spring clean there is a process of letting go of things that no longer serve you, releasing built up grime, dust and dirt and a creation of positive feelings with the action you are taking. The same is true as you clean and clear your pantry and fridge.

When starting, you want to align with your goal and then determine if the items in your fridge and pantry serve you and your goals. What do you want? How do you want to feel? Do the foods currently in your fridge and pantry provide that outcome? If yes, take inventory and plan when you will use them. Get creative, cook new dishes, refresh old ones, have fun with it. If no, these items don’t align with your goals and how you want to feel, you can choose to donate them or give them to a neighbor or friend. It’s a helpful process that will leave you feeling empowered and motivated to care for yourself. After the clearing process, be sure to organize and clean them out so it feels calming to open and access your fridge and pantry.

During this clearing process, notice what foods might be “trigger” foods. Trigger foods are ones that it’s difficult to stop eating once you start or ones that you crave to temporarily suppress stress and uncomfortable emotions. These foods are not bad foods or good foods, they just may not serve you and it’s helpful to evaluate if having them in your space helps move you in the direction of your goals. If they don’t, you don’t have to keep them.

Spring Cleaning Habits + Emotions

Now let’s dive into spring cleaning for your habits and emotions. This process is a bit less straight forward. You can’t just give or throw away your habits and emotions so easily. You can start this process of spring cleaning emotional eating through self-reflection. Be honest with yourself about how often you are using food to suppress stress and emotions, how often you turn to food for comfort. Be curious about how that makes you feel about yourself. Become aware of how any habits and patterns of stress and emotional eating have created a rift in your relationship with yourself and your body.

Once you can deeply reflect and develop self-awareness, you can begin to clear out the habits and develop healthier ways to cope with your stress and emotions. To change a habit you need to replace it with a new, healthier, more desired habit. If you have been feeling stressed during the quarantine or if you struggled with any winter blues, you might have developed a habit of soothing with food in the evenings, when feeling down, lonely or bored, among other emotions. For example, maybe you started eating something after dinner that comforts you and releases your stress regardless of whether or not you were still hungry. There may be some pondering about wanting to stop this habit or maybe even some guilt for having it, however, it feels too difficult to break.

You want to consider spring cleaning this habit first by determining what else could you do in the evenings to soothe your mind and body that do not include the comfort foods? How do you want to feel? Can you practice assessing your hunger levels and committing to only eating if you truly feel hungry? Can you journal to connect with why this habit feels so good and so bad at the same time? You want to dive into self-awareness and self-reflection and create a plan to shift this habit into something more desirable and something that can still soothe you without food.

Changing a habit takes time and constant self-reflection and self-awareness. I recently wrote 10 blogs about creating a life that you love, you can review the overview here. You can go back and check out each of the steps in depth on the blog for support with this challenging change process. While awareness is the first step, you have to create action steps and a formulate a plan to actually follow through.

When you are spring cleaning any habits that no longer serve you, awareness that the habit has become problematic is the first step and then deciding what you could do and aligning with a sense of what you truly want is the next. Then you, of course, need to have a plan for how you are going to make it happen. Following through, consistency and believing in yourself are super important when it comes to creating the change you desire.

Commit to yourself to spring clean just one habit. Be sure to give yourself time to reflect in order to ensure that you make it happen.

As you begin to shift your habit, you may notice more emotions and stress to become present when you are no longer soothing them with food. This is where journaling is a great place to start when working to spring clean your emotions. Giving yourself time and space to recognize, sit with, understand, process and release your emotions is essential. Journaling offers you a specific safe place to do this.

Anytime you experience a food craving is a great time to pull out your journal and get in touch with the craving. This way you can determine if it’s an emotional craving or more general craving. Go through the Pause, Reflect, Release process where you first pause and give yourself space away from the craving. Then reflect where you can explore and understand the craving and then attempt to release the craving. If is an emotional craving, you will choose a coping tool to help manage or release the emotion. If it is a general craving, you might choose to eat the food, however you want to be sure do so mindfully. Allow yourself to savor and enjoy your food.

Breath work, movement, and talking are additional helpful tools to cleanse and clear in mind and body. No matter what you do to begin to spring clean your stress and emotional eating patterns, start somewhere and believe in yourself and your ability to create the change you desire.