5 Body Positive Mantras You Need Now (And How to Use Them!)

When working alongside women who struggle with emotional eating, I am able to witness their renewed commitment to themselves as they create a healthy mindset. They work hard for months and months to change old, self-defeating behaviors with new, self-care focused behaviors. They challenge themselves to shift their perspective around food and emotions in order to develop a deeper connection to themselves through awareness. This is tremendously powerful work! After all of this positive and healthy change, there is a lingering challenge that seems to plague most women (and most likely men). This lingering challenge is how they feel about their body---it is never good enough.

Why is it that we struggle to be content with our bodies? Why can’t we appreciate all of the amazing things our bodies can do? As women, we spend time complaining about our various body parts and feel that some distorted perception of “perfection” would somehow create happiness. Thoughts such as, if I had this-- or-- if I didn't have that, then I could be happy with my body-- seem to plague our minds. There are all of these conditions we place on our ability to be satisfied with our bodies. However, this is simply not true!

Happiness originates from aligning with what is true right NOW. Happiness is not a place to get to later, not before when things may have been different, but an experience of accepting what you have right NOW. Being body positive means being grateful for and content with your body as it is right NOW.

So how do we work to heal this long-standing negative perception of our bodies? How do we shift from disdain and disgust to appreciation, acceptance and gratitude for the body we have right NOW? With practice! So, what do we practice? We practice appreciation, acceptance and gratitude for our bodies in the here and the NOW.

So, you may be wondering what exactly is a mantra and what does it have to do with healing a negative body image? The word mantra means instrument of the mind. A mantra is a powerful tool used to center yourself in order to create a single pointed focus of the mind. When you first begin the practice of using a body positive mantra, your mind will try to argue with the mantra, to disregard it. Your mind will say things like, that’s wrong-- or-- that’s a lie. Your mind will inevitably wander to other random thoughts. This is why we have to practice!

When your mind wanders, try not to get caught into the story and roller coaster of your thoughts. Judging thoughts will be there and are a result of mental conditioning that has been created over the many years you have been struggling with a negative body image. All of the negative stories you have been telling yourself, negative stories you have been hearing from media influences and other people have become deeply engrained.

Remind yourself that this is a challenging process to shift from a negative body image to a more grounded, grateful and positive body image. It will become more comfortable with time and consistent practice. Again, each time your mind wanders, return your focus to your mantra. So, if your mind wanders 100 times, return to your mantra 101 times!

Try this challenge: for the next month, use one or more of the following body positive, self-love mantras. Spend 5 minutes repeating the mantra silently within your mind. After 5 minutes, spend 5-10 minutes journaling to reflect on your experience and how you feel. This time for reflection and journaling is a helpful because with practice, you will begin to notice a positive shift internally. Mantras are a powerful source of transformation that will be evident and reflected back to you through your reflective journaling process. So now, here they are!

5 Body Positive Mantras

1.    In this moment, I accept my body unconditionally.

2.    I am grateful for my body and all that it can do.

3.    I am just right, just as I am.

4.    I am beautiful, inside and out.

5.    I love myself, wholly and completely.

When you embark on this body positive, self-love mantra adventure, you will begin to heal your relationship with your body and in turn with yourself. You will grow in your self-confidence and find a deeper level of appreciation, acceptance, and gratitude for your body as well as for yourself. Most importantly, you will feel this growth from within, the only place that really matters.

One of the best ways to maintain your focus is to reach out and encourage others to practice with you! Who can you inspire to heal their relationship with their body? I’d love to hear how your month-long body positive mantra adventure goes for you, so please, keep in touch!

EMDR Therapy Demystified

EMDR is an extremely powerful and effective integrative therapy that uses a specific protocol to reduce emotional and physical distress. The distress may be related to memories, adverse life experiences or traumas that have occurred at any time throughout your life. EMDR allows the opportunity for healing at the deepest roots and helps to increase self-awareness while offering a renewed perspective on the present moment.

Since I began integrating EMDR into my clinical practice, it has transformed my work. I have been especially inspired by the power of EMDR when a person feels a deeper sense of emotional freedom and increased self-acceptance both internally and externally. This authentic self-acceptance and awareness creates a deeper connection to the core of their being as well as a sense of balance and peace within. The process allows you to not only heal, but to grow, change and feel better than imagined.

I can personally attest to the power of EMDR from both sides of the couch. After completing my first EMDR intensive training, I searched for an EMDR therapist as I was amazed by the process. Prior to EMDR therapy, I had debilitating performance anxiety. I realized through the training that I was operating out of old, stuck, negative cognitions and feedback loops in my brain that were related to my past, and were literally holding me back in my life.

I am now able to give presentations without physically shaking, a racing heart, a red face, nausea, intense fear and a near panic attack. It really has been life changing. For those I have had the privilege to support through the EMDR therapy process, I have been able to witness healing over and over again, which is truly inspiring.

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro in 1987 and is administered through an eight-phase process. Here is where it can get technical, making it a little tricky to explain, but I wanted to help to clarify some elements of EMDR therapy as so many people ask me what it’s like during certain parts of the process.

The eye movements create bilateral stimulation of the brain. You work with a specific distressing memory, body sensations and emotions that the memory brings up for you and how the memory makes you feel about yourself. These experiences from the memories may have made you feel, for example, not good enough, like you had to be perfect, or as though you are not in control. These are all examples of negative cognitions which essentially get stuck and create negative feedback loops internally, making it difficult to move forward.

The bilateral stimulation that occurs with the eye movements begins to reprocess those memories in order to desensitize to them. This essentially frees the emotional and physical distress related to the memory. After working through the distressing memories, a positive cognition is installed, creating a healthier outlook on your experience.

I will try to explain this using an example of when I reprocessed a memory related to my performance anxiety. While I was thinking of a distressing memory, I tuned into the uncomfortable emotions it brought up (embarrassed, worried, frustrated) and the uncomfortable body sensations (feeling hot, my heart racing, nausea). I simultaneously brought up how this made me feel about myself, or my negative cognition, which was: I am inadequate. The therapist asked me how distressing this felt on a 0-10 scale.

While sitting with all of that discomfort, I watched the therapist’s fingers go back and forth for about 30 seconds. She asked me to just notice whatever comes up during that time. She would stop, and I would tell her what came up. Then she instructed me to “go with that,” meaning now focus on whatever it was that came up for me. For example, I remembered my hands shaking, my mind going blank and the look on the people’s faces at the very beginning of this particular presentation. While sitting with that experience, she administered the eye movements again. This was repeated several times.

Amazingly, after about ten sets of intense discomfort, I started to feel less discomfort. I even had some positive thoughts come up and felt more at ease. When I would focus on the positive thoughts, more positive thoughts and feelings arose. While my distress did not completely go away in one experience, it did reduce enough to notice an immediate impact.

After several memories that reinforced my negative cognition were worked through, I was able to create a new template for how I view myself. This has increased my self-compassion. Now when I give a presentation, my old baggage from those memories does not show up! It really has been life changing.

This is one example of just a part of the EMDR therapy process. I wanted to offer this glimpse into the process as it can be difficult to understand, but know that there is so much more. If you would like to learn more about the technicality, the science, research and more specifically about the eight phases of EMDR, I invite you visit the website: www.EMDRIA.org.

EMDR therapy has improved the lives of so many who have struggled with memories and experiences far more intense and challenging to cope with than my example. For those who have PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, eating disorders or anyone who feels as though they are operating out of old, stuck negative beliefs about themselves, EMDR may be a useful and valuable therapeutic technique.

If you are considering EMDR therapy and have any further questions at all, or if you are in the New York City area and would like to schedule a session, feel free to contact me today.

Mindful Eating

Have you ever finished eating an entire meal and you don’t remember tasting one bite? Have you ever gotten to the bottom of a bag of chips and wondered how you got there? These are examples of mind-less eating. Mindful eating is just the opposite. Mindful eating is offering yourself the time to savor your food. Mindful eating is pausing for a moment to be grateful for your food. It is taking the time to notice the aromas of your food, to chew your food thoroughly and really taste your food. When you eat mindfully you notice the impact your food choices have on your body and your mind.

To understand mindful eating, it is helpful to understand mindfulness as a practice. Mindfulness is paying attention from moment to moment with a nonjudgmental awareness. It is being completely grounded and present in the here and the now. The past can only exist as a memory within your mind and the future can only exist as a fantasy within your mind. When you engage with the present moment, you are truly aware and awake in your life. When you bring this concept into every aspect of your life, you become more peaceful and content.

Living mindfully allows you to be conscious and clear as you make any choice. When you bring mindfulness into your mealtimes, you will be more in tune, conscious and clear about what you choose to eat. Remaining nonjudgmental is essential. When you are calm and grounded while eating, you are more likely to assimilate the nutrients in your food. Digestion begins before you even take a bite. Allowing this process to be peaceful, mindful and pleasurable will enhance your life in many ways.

When you tune out the stressors such as your cell phone, TV, emails and social media, and tune into your experience of eating, you will create a closer relationship with your food. When eating mindfully, you will notice your hunger and full cues with more awareness. This creates freedom to make a choice in the present moment. Eating mindfully offers the opportunity to recognize how your food choices make you feel: mentally, physically, emotionally, energetically and spiritually. Mindful eating is extremely powerful and helps to reduce and heal emotional, stress and disordered eating.

To begin integrating mindful eating into your daily life, try this practice starting today. Begin with one meal or snack and commit to eating it mindfully. Turn off your cell phone and any other distractions such as the TV or loud music. Take a few slow, steady and deep breaths. Look at your food, take a moment to be grateful for it. Notice the aromas of your food. As you begin to eat, become aware of the textures of your food. If you are eating with your hands, place your food down between bites. If you are using a utensil, place it down between bites. Practice chewing slowly and thoroughly, really tasting and savoring your food.

When you are finished with your meal or snack, reflect on the impact of your food choice. Tune into the physical sensations you experience after eating this food. Take some slow, deep breaths and notice if you feel satisfied by what you ate and how full you feel. Notice if you enjoyed what you ate. Become aware of your energy and mood following this mindful eating practice. Thank yourself for taking this time to eat mindfully and to tune into your body. As you continue to bring mindful eating into your daily routine, notice the impact on your relationship with food as well as with yourself.