How to Survive the Holidays: A Mindful Eating Guide

So the holiday season is in full force, did it sneak up on you too?! When it comes to the holidays, do you feel overwhelmed when it comes to surviving them all? Do you worry about overeating, over spending and in general just over doing it all? If so, you are not alone. This time of year, with the shorter daylight hours and brisk temperatures, it’s natural to want to do less and relax more. However, the nature of this season often gets us out and about, leaving us over tired and over stressed. When this happens, we often over-do-it with sugar, caffeine and possibly the alcohol.

Some of the primary challenges when it comes to over-doing-it during the holidays are, well, the big holiday meals, alcohol, candy dishes and sweet treats everywhere, food as gifts, cocktail parties… That’s a lot of challenges. If you already struggle with emotional and stress eating, the holidays are often too overpowering with that LONG list of challenges to stay in a mindset of health and wellbeing.

Here are some helpful suggestions to help survive each of these scenarios with a mindful eating approach to the holiday-all-the-things-food-season.

BIG HOLIDAY MEALS

Let’s start with the big holiday meals. Here are some suggestions to remain mindful and comfortable throughout each meal:

·      Start with vegetables—fill your plate with at least 50% colorful veggies.

·      Add proteins to your plate—when you eat protein and fiber (from the veggies) together it will create a feeling of satiation more quickly and stay with you longer.

·      Don’t overload your plate—if you want to eat more after your first serving, notice if you are truly hungry (mindful & intuitive eating practice) and if not, ask yourself if you can have the food you’d still like to eat as leftovers another time to receive that satisfaction later.

·      Don’t restrict what you choose to eat—on the other side of overloading is not letting yourself eat something you really want; this will only lead to cravings and resentful feelings of deprivation. Try a little of everything you want and TASTE it, enjoy it, eat it mindfully.

·      Eat dessert if you want it and if you aren’t stuffed but if you are full, don’t. Have a statement prepared for the “food pushers” in your life if you are choosing to not eat dessert (or anything else at the meal!) An example could be, “That looks amazing, can I take some to go so I can eat it when I’m not full and I can actually enjoy it.” If you do want dessert, eat it and do so mindfully.

ALCOHOL

So let’s be clear, alcohol is not a health food and if you struggle with over doing it with alcohol, it’s best to avoid it altogether. If you don’t have a problem with alcohol but tend to over-indulge during the holidays, here are my suggestions to remain more mindful in relation to your alcohol consumption:

·      Set a mental limit for yourself. Do this before you go to a cocktail party or holiday meal, know (and remember!) your set desired limits and stick to it.

·      Be sure you are not using alcohol as a coping skill. If cocktail parties or big get togethers create feelings of anxiety, discomfort or tension, you might end up over doing it to cope with those feelings. Make sure you check in with your emotions and manage them before hitting the alcohol.

·      Start any party or meal with water and be sure to stay hydrated

·      Have a glass of water between drinks

·      Choose a creative “mocktail” like seltzer, pomegranate juice and lime, no one needs to know there’s no booze!

·      Check in with your inner strength monitor to assess your “tipsy level” from time to time! You are way more likely to regret over-doing-it to under doing it!

CANDY DISHES

You know how during the holidays there are candy dishes seemingly everywhere? Here are some suggestions to help manage the dreaded candy dishes:

·      Give yourself a “sugar quota” for the day—maybe it’s 1-3 pieces of candy. Pay attention and be sure to stay in mindful eating-mode when you do enjoy a piece, when you eat it, savor it!

·      Be intentional about your choices. Do you even like those red and green M&M’s? Maybe so, but if they aren’t your fav, leave them in the dish.

·      Avoid the candy dishes. If you struggle with over-doing-it with sugar, it’s best to avoid the candy dishes and make intentional choices about what sweets you will have this season.

·      Avoid the mindless eating trap. With all of the candy around it can become easy to mindlessly have a few pieces here and there and not really enjoy and savor them.

FOOD AS GIFTS

Another big food challenge during the holidays is being given food as a gift. Here are some suggestions for dealing with this one:

·      Mange your feelings of guilt if you choose not to eat the food you are gifted. Guilt is appropriate if you have actually done something wrong, it is our conscience in action. However, if someone gives you a box of candy and you know it will be painful for you to just try one piece and you end up eating the entire box all at once, it’s best not to put yourself in a position you might feel upset about later.

·      Take the food gifts to work and share with others.

·      Take the food gifts to a holiday gathering.

·      Determine if you even like the food, then decide if it’s what you truly want to eat.

·      Save a portion of the food and give the rest away.

·      Create a sugar quota for yourself for the day and stick to it. If you’ve hit your quota, remember, you can always try something the next day.

COCKTAIL PARTIES

Cocktail parties are a challenge during the holidays. They tend have a lot of snacks and of course drinks—and they may come with a side of awkwardness. Usually they are not offering a full meal so it can be tough not to over-do-it. Here are some suggestions to manage cocktail parties with ease:

·      Give yourself a drink limit (review alcohol above!) and space them out well throughout the party. This is a mindset you create before even walking in the door.

·      Start with one drink. Then switch to water or a “mocktail” in the same glass.

·      Be aware of sugar content in any fancy mixed drinks.

·      Eat something healthy before you go so you are not hungry when you arrive.

·      Focus on the veggie options first with the available snacks.

·      Stay mindful as you do eat so you don’t graze. Sometimes when nervous we might nibble mindlessly.

A few last tips to help reduce incidents of stress and emotional eating holiday season:

·      Try to stick to meal planning and preparation throughout the season. It’s super tempting and easy to order take out or go out when you are feeling over-run during this season. This can add up in dollars and unhealthy meals.

·      Focus on vegetables and fruits. You may still choose to indulge in other holiday treats, just be sure to be well nourished along the way!

·      Make slow cooker meals that are ready to go and easy to freeze so you can have leftovers available.

·      Practice mindful eating at least one meal per day every day.

·      Use the emotional cravings protocol any time you need it.

I’ll leave you with this last reminder of the process of mindful eating so you can stay empowered, mindful and content with your choices this holiday season!

Mindful Eating is…

·      Eating without distraction.

·      Being in tune with what you are eating and your body, noticing how what you eat makes you feel.

·      Focusing on your senses, especially smelling and tasting.

·      Savoring and enjoying your food.

·      Staying tuned into to your hunger and full cues, eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full.

·      Eating in a relaxed, calm and neutral emotional state.

·      Deriving pleasure from eating without judgment.

I hope you have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Growing Your Inner Strengths to Transform Your Life

Now that we’ve covered the six primary inner strengths, it’s time to integrate them into the fabric of our being so we are more able to live in a space of happiness, contentment and peacefulness. Let’s examine how to use these six inner strengths to help grow out of and overcome our weaknesses. 

Growing internal strengths is work—l mean, sometimes really hard work. Growing inner strength requires self-awareness, a desire to change, and putting in effort consistently to make it happen. Let’s face it, change is hard, demanding and often painful. However, is change even more painful than living in space of discomfort, avoidance and struggle? What is the real cost to you within your life to NOT change? If you desire to transform your life, change is necessary.

Of these six inner strengths (remember that there are a whole lot of other inner strengths—these are just the primary ones that I’ve focused on over the last several posts), did any stand out to you that you’d like to build? Did you notice if each already exist within your being and how you approach your life? I know the desire to possess each of them is strong for me, however, I did notice how some of them were not as super solid within me as I applied them to myself! One of the ways that I most live within my personal authenticity is when I am practicing self care and growing on all levels. Examining these inner strengths made me come face to face with how complacent I can be with my weaknesses—which then causes me to not live within my authenticity—yikes! An opportunity to grow is exciting and scary at the same time, right? 

Spend some time examining your current life a bit. Reflect on the following thought questions and journal out your answers if you like:

• Where do you hold yourself back from your dreams?

• If you applied these inner strengths to how you approach your relationship with food, what did you notice in relation to each of the strengths and how they could help improve this relationship?

• Where do you feel the most struggle within your life?

• Where are you hiding or what are you hiding from?

• What limiting beliefs do you hold onto about yourself and/or your life?

When you allow yourself to really answer these questions, you will find valuable information about where you are ready to grow and evolve into you…only better! This is where your true self is longing to level-up, to create greater consciousness. When you do this, you first will go through the temporary discomfort of stepping out of your comfort zone. Once you pass this temporary discomfort, you are able to experience the freedom of living within the authenticity of your true self and ultimately create more comfort and pleasure.

Begin by selecting one area within yourself that you might consider to be a weakness. One of my primary weakness—as I perceive it anyway—is impatience…(my husband verified this for me.) Then determine which inner strength would help to manage that weakness and ultimately build it into an inner strength. For me, in order to help improve my impatience, I’d like to build temperance (along with all of the others!) Check within yourself and go into any areas where you might avoid noticing your perceived weakness(es). Awareness is always the first step!

Just as a reminder, the six inner strengths we’ve been exploring are:

1.    Curiosity: Allowing continued growth of knowledge and wisdom

2.    Vitality: Allowing continued growth of courage as well as mind & body wellbeing

3.    Giving and Receiving Love: Allowing continued growth of love, trust, openness and affirmation for yourself and others 

4.    Temperance: Allowing continued growth of acceptance, forgiveness & compassion

5.    Gratitude: Allowing for continued growth to release the state of wanting and desire and creating a grateful perspective that what you have is enough. This creates transcendence and deeply releases anxiety.

6.    Hope & Faith: An inner belief that all will be well without having to control your circumstances. This is the experience of surrender, which is deeply personal and spiritual.

Once you’ve selected one area that needs work (identified a weakness)—and one area to build (identified useful inner strength)—let yourself dive into it. Spend time in reflection about your perception of your weakness and how growing this particular inner strength can help to improve your internal experience and your interaction within your own life. Spend time journaling and talking to others about their perceptions of you (yes, get some—at times hard to hear—feedback!) Begin incorporating daily practices to build this particular inner strength starting today. Give yourself time. Be patient (note to self!) and allow yourself to grow with effort, determination and a focus on why you want to create this strength within.

How will you know when the inner strength has become integrated? It will become evident to you in how you communicate with yourself and others, the choices you make and how others respond to you. Leveling up your consciousness and your life is a lifelong journey and worth the effort. You always have the choice to change or remain right where you are…what will you choose?

Inner Strength Focus: Growing Hope to Heal Emotional Eating

Over the past several blogs I have been talking about building six specific inner strengths to help you create more contentment and happiness in your life—specifically related to your relationship with food. The final inner strength that I will cover here of the six inner strengths is hope. Hope is linked to faith and it’s an inner belief that all will be well without having to feel as though you need to control every aspect of your circumstances. This is an experience of surrender. Hope allows a surrendering to an inner belief and trust which is deeply personal and a spiritual endeavor.

If you attempt to control every aspect of your life, you will become exhausted. When you find the elements that are controllable and connect that to the hope and belief that all will be well, you can lean into the process of surrendering, the process of letting go. When you lean into surrendering and letting go, you create an experience of happiness, inner peace and contentment. Hope provides optimism and optimism ultimately keeps you moving forward with a positive and determined mindset.

When you apply the inner strength of hope to healing emotional eating, you are able to remain in a more positive mindset when it comes to challenges, emotions and trusting yourself—and trusting the process. Shifting from the dieting trap of restriction (and then the inevitable over eating) into a more mindful and intuitive eating space, you will need to access an inner hope and belief that you can truly free yourself from emotional eating and create a healthy and peaceful relationship with food.

Food is pleasurable and nourishing. The purpose of feeding ourselves is to remain healthy while also providing your life with pleasure that you derive from cooking, tasting, eating and even sharing a meal with others. When food becomes your primary (or only) source of pleasure—or your tool for managing stress—you may not have much hope that your life can be different. The cycle of emotional and stress eating is hard to disrupt. Change is difficult. Not changing is even harder because you remain stuck in that negative cycle. Building the inner strength of hope is a process of surrendering to the awareness that your relationship with food has derailed and needs support to get back on track. Hope keeps you connected to the possibility of change and creates effort.

To begin to build the inner strength of hope, it will be helpful to create a vision for what a peaceful relationship with food means to you. Understanding why you want this change to occur makes it even more powerful. When you have your vision established and connect with it regularly, you create an inner hope, a belief and faith in yourself that why you want what you want will allow you to put the effort into creating your vision as your reality. When you have faith in yourself you are more likely to be kind to yourself, to handle challenges and be more proactive.

To begin to connect with your vision in order to build hope as an inner strength, spend time journaling about the following questions:

·      What is your vision for your relationship with food?

·      Why do you want this vision?

·      What are the challenges you can foresee as you set forth to put your vision into action?

·      How can you stay connected to your vision?

·      What does hope mean to you?

·      What does having hope look like within your life, how might it change your current life?

·      What do you need to do to increase your faith in yourself?

Once you have your vision established, create 3-5 action steps that you can take daily or weekly to move you in the direction of living your vision. Find where you can access hope daily and build faith in yourself to take the action needed to create a peaceful relationship with food. Connect with your vision daily, fine tune your action steps regularly, bring on support like a friend, coach or therapist to help you stay the course.

When you connect with hope, you create more inner happiness, peace and contentment. Always remember that you deserve to live the life of your dreams.