Step EIGHT to Creating a Life You Love: Building on the Change Process

“Quitting is never an option on the road to success. Find the way forward. If you have a positive mindset and are willing to persevere, there is little that is beyond your reach. The attitude of being ready to work even in the face of challenges and despite odds is what will make all the difference in your life.” ― Roopleen

Step 8 to creating a life that you love is about celebrating your change process and nurturing it as it develops. You will focus on the good, the wins you are achieving and the positive shifts that are occurring. You will have opportunities to make adjustments when your motivation needs some tweaking. Developing a consistent daily practice to focus on the positive and express gratitude will be outlined and encouraged to integrate into a daily self-awareness positivity practice. When you focus on what’s going well you tend to want to create more of it!

As we move into this step, and really the final three steps, the aspects surrounding change are more nuanced and less direct. They are more about how to hold onto the changes you’ve created and continuing to dive deeper into what you want and why you want it. Because backsliding is an inevitable part of the process, developing a daily practice to ensure forward momentum is essential.

You may find as some of the smaller steps become habits that your focus may change, what you want may change and your desires become deeper. For example, for many who struggle with emotional eating, they often initially have goals related to wanting to change their body in some way or adhere to some type of diet plan. However, after making shifts and changes, they recognize that their relationship with food, body—or anything else—are all reflected within their relationship with themselves. This is experienced through deep self-awareness and constant self-reflection.

This step is about allowing the positive changes you’ve created to become not just a rote habit, but to savor the experience of the change, to take in the positive feelings of the change and to recognize and be grateful to yourself that you are responsible for the change. This is worth celebrating! Gratitude and daily self-reflection practices that focus on what went well, what changes you’ve maintained and where you can fine-tune your vision is central.

Now that you have seen how a plan turns behaviors into habits, maintaining those habits is how to continue to build on the change process. Taking time daily to reflect on what you did do, what went well and the positive impact that it had on you will help to keep the motivation flowing. This is the time to incorporate gratitude as a practice into your daily routine. As you reflect on what went well, say thank you to yourself for taking the time to put action into your vision and make the changes you desire. Expressing gratitude to yourself to be able to take action and for any of the people who supported you or anything/one else that helped you through this process will allow you to experience an abundance of positive feelings. When you link these positive feelings with the process of change, that will create a stronger desire to keep going. Reflecting on the good, taking time to let it sink in deeply and expressing gratitude all support your progress and build upon the change process in a meaningful way.

Putting this daily practice into your routine would look something like this… Start a daily positive action and gratitude journal. Begin by taking a couple slow, deep, centering breaths. Open your journal and write down two things that you did today to support your vision. These will be any action steps you did take today, no matter how big or small. Focus on what went well and how it felt to complete those action steps. (If your mind tries to distract you with what you didn’t do or anything negative, pause and go back to focusing in this moment solely on the positive.) Take a moment to savor the positive feelings that arise, letting them sink into your being. Notice how it feels in your body to focus on the positive, along with celebrating your growth and change process. Now thank yourself for taking the time to do these action steps and notice how that feels to focus your gratitude inward. Next, write down two things/people you are grateful for from your day and specifically why you feel grateful for these things/people. Take a moment to savor those positive feelings of gratitude, letting them sink into your being. Notice how it feels in your body when you practice gratitude. Savor the positive experience of reflecting on your dedication and expressing gratitude.

This simple and yet super powerful daily practice will help keep you aligned to your greater vision for your life. This daily practice is such a rewarding part of the change process. It does not take much time; however, it makes a big difference in how you feel and ultimately sparks more desire to continue to take action consistently. As you build on the small steps you continue to take, over time you prepare yourself to make big changes and live your vision. You are creating a life that you love!

Step FOUR to Creating a Life You Love: Evaluating Your Current Life & Lifestyle

“The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only emotionally but also physically and spiritually.”
--Greg Anderson

Step 4 to creating a life you love is all about evaluating how well you currently care for yourself in mind, body and spirit. Through this step you will learn about the foundations of wellbeing. You will have opportunities to evaluate how you are currently functioning in each of these foundations in order to assess how you feel you are doing in terms of living well, feeling well and being well. Through self-evaluation you can determine if there are any shifts and changes you would like to create. There will be opportunities to reflect and notice where you can create more fluidity in your lifestyle that will help lead you to the changes you desire.

No matter what your vision for your life may be, when you are taking care of yourself in mind, body and spirit, you will be more likely to have the energy, mental clarity and the necessary inner spark and desire to work towards your goals. If your goals fall within the foundations of wellbeing, then you will really enjoy this step. If they don’t, this step will be important for you too as this foundation creates more freedom for you to create whatever you desire within your life. The foundations of wellbeing are movement, nutrition, sleep and intentional relaxation. When your foundation is strong and your wellbeing becomes a priority, you will be unstoppable as you propel towards pursuit of your life’s vision.

Take a moment and assess your current state of wellbeing. Ask yourself the following questions.

-Do you move your body regularly in a way that keeps it feeling mobile, strong and healthy?

-Do you eat vegetables daily and pay attention to how what you eat makes you feel?

-Do you eat mindfully, meaning pay attention to the process of eating without distraction?

-Do you get adequate and quality sleep?

-Do you take time to relax in an intentional way? Meaning, do you give yourself space to calm and center yourself in mind, body and spirit?

-Is your current lifestyle reflective of your vision and purpose?

-Does your current lifestyle reflect your personal values?

Any wellness routine and way of integrating wellbeing practices into your life will look and feel different from person to person as we all have individual preferences, needs and ways of being. One person might find that within the movement foundation, gentle yoga is what suits their body best while someone else might find that preparing for a half marathon is more fulfilling. With nutrition, we all have different needs. When you assess if you get adequate vegetables, what does that look like for you? No matter what you are eating, paying attention and noticing how what you eat makes you feel is one of the most important elements of being nourished by food. The same is true for sleep, although this tends to be something many people let slide out of focus easily. Intentional relaxation is different than Netflix and chill. While this might be how you unwind or have fun, it is not a true state of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual relaxation. Examples of intentional relaxation include meditation, creating art, reading, taking a bath, having lunch with friends, praying, spending time in nature… Intentional relaxation provides fulfillment, rejuvenation, vitality and pleasure in your life that feels good to you and creates inner peace.

Creating a strong state of true wellness is a journey. Most of us are stressed, tired and live in an overall imbalanced way. When the foundations of wellbeing become a priority, your ability to cope with stress, solve problems and feel mentally and physically well enough to take on much of what life delivers will be far more available. When you create a strong foundation for your physical body, your mental and emotional world can become more available to explore and you can continue to grow and expand mentally and spiritually.

The process of focusing on your own wellbeing requires commitment. When you have a vision for your life and a sense of purpose—and a plan to make it happen—your focus can shift to your wellbeing. When you create true mind, body, spirit wellness within your life, you set the groundwork to live your best life. Begin by choosing ONE area that may be out of balance for you and start with ONE element that you can incorporate in a positive way. Continue building slowly. Once your body is vital and healthy you can dive deeper into mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. This is where personal growth becomes a daily process and daily opportunity. As you move through these steps to leading yourself to living your best life, be sure to offer yourself ample time to creating a solid foundation for wellness and overall wellbeing.

Step TWO to Creating a Life You Love: Aligning with Your Purpose

“If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily.” ―Jack Canfield

Do you feel that you are living in alignment with your life’s purpose? If not, or if you don’t even have an inkling what your purpose might be, you are not alone. Many people feel that having a purpose means that you need to be working/living/sleeping/breathing that purpose every second of every day. This is not this case. If you think your purpose has to be on par with saving the world, something magnificent and deeply meaningful, that may keep you stuck from actually aligning with it. Your purpose is your own and cannot be created by anyone else or diminished in any way. It may or may not have anything to do with your work, but more with how you approach your work and how you live your life.

Knowing what you want in life, why you want it and having a vision for your life—a vision that aligns with your personal values and brings you joy—that is living your purpose! This brings us to the heart of step two, which is creating a vision for your life based on your values and desires and then beginning to make a series of choices (through goal setting/action steps) in order to create the opportunity to live a life that you love. This opens you up to your purpose, which is the continual process of growing into a better, more whole, more evolved version of you.

The process of visioning is inspiring, motivating and fun. I love visioning. I love creating an image in my mind’s eye of what I want and feeling the inspiration that comes from believing in myself and having a dream that is expansive. When I first created a vision board, I discovered it was about so much more than just wishing for nice things to have one day in the future. I discovered the process of setting intentions to align how I live with what I want and how it is imperative to remain connected to the WHY behind the desire. When I connected with why I wanted certain elements or things in my life I could connect with my purpose. The why creates constant inspiration, and inspiration allows me to express myself and feel authentic and in alignment with my sense of purpose. The vision board process was a part of that alignment because through creating my vision for my life, I grew in self-awareness. Through this process, I was able to see that if there is something I want in my life; I am responsible for making it happen.

I created that first vision board at least ten years ago, and when I periodically look back on it, I see how much I have created within my life because of the intention behind it. I have since used visioning as a regular practice, I use a list now (although I still collect images that I will one day make into a new vision board!) and I connect with my list often by reading it, visualizing it and asking myself what I am doing or what action am I taking to allow these desires to enter my life.

Practicing mindfulness and visualization consistently helps to create a sense of being centered and allows me to recognize any internal resistance (any internal naysayers) so that I can clear those blocks and stay focused on what I want and why I want it. This process is connected to the self-awareness we built through step one. The energy that is created through visioning, visualizing and staying in alignment with the WHY driving what I want helps to generate momentum. When I have momentum I am more likely to take action to create the changes necessary to live my vision. Only then can I truly connect with my vision and sense of purpose from a non-ego-based space (this is not necessarily easy!) My vision, and a reminder of it daily, is a consistent reminder to take action. When I am feeling a little lazy, or when I am listening to my internal negative naysayers, it’s so helpful to pull out my list, do some visualization, connect with the action steps that will lead me to creating my vision and feel motivated to do the work…but I’m getting ahead of myself—we’ll cover more of that in future steps! For now, let’s focus on the vision and its connection to aligning with your purpose.

This step will offer you continued inspiration as well as direction to take your broader vision and bring it into your daily life in a realistic, useful and meaningful way. In step two you will connect to why you want what you want and (spoiler alert!) in step three you will create a plan of action through goals and action steps. The process of visioning and creating self-awareness is about so much more than fantasy or imaginary desire, it’s a creative connection to what you want at your core, what lights you up and brings you joy. Visioning creates a spark within, a hope and need for growth, change and fulfillment. Your vision inspires a greater version of yourself to become a possibility. As you bring this step into your focus this week, I hope you begin to feel that spark and let it continue to light you up every single day. What you want is possible, but it’s up to you to create it, to build it and to grow it all throughout your life. And this is how you align with your purpose.

So now it’s time to put step two to work. Pull out your favorite journal—or anything to write with and on—and get ready to tap into your sense of purpose through your vision for your life. Let yourself take this time to connect deeply with what you want and why you want it. Answer the following questions with the first answers that come to mind, try not to overthink it and definitely DO NOT judge what comes up for you, just write!

1.    What do I want? Be as specific and detailed as possible. DO NOT let your fears, limiting beliefs or any internal naysayers get in your way! There is nothing too small or large, too crazy or sane, too perfect or messy…just write it allllll out!

2.    How would it make me feel emotionally if I had this?

3.    How would it feel in my body to have this?

4. Why do I want this?

5. What do I value the most and why?

6. What do I find myself most often searching for/reading/researching on the internet?

7. What do I daydream about?

8. What does a perfect “work” day look like for me?

9. What does a perfect “off” day look like for me?

10. If I was living my purpose and vision six months from now what would my life look like? (Be as specific as possible.)

11. How do I want to feel?

Take time to read back everything you wrote and write out your vision for what you want now. If you notice any internal resistance, judgments or ego superiority/inferiority trying to jump in your way, pause, remind yourself of how what you want makes you feel and keep writing. Be as detailed and positive as possible. Believe in the possibility that you can create a life you love through aligning with your vision and purpose.

Every day this week connect with your vision, what you want and why you want it. Read and re-read your vision, give yourself time to sit with the good feelings that come up along with the hope that your vision will become your reality. Stay in a space of self-awareness, knowing that this is your vision and there is a deeper reason as to why you want it, why it is important to you and how you can begin to connect with it as a possibility on a daily basis. Take time to examine where your purpose shows itself to you within your vision, your values and why you want what you want. Take time to enjoy the process and fully experience the joy in aligning with your vision and your purpose without having to try to control or know exactly what comes next.

Next week we will explore step three, Creating a Plan of ACTION! Until then, happy visioning!