Self-Awareness as a Path to Healing Emotional Eating

Many people struggle with emotional, and stress eating patterns and often feel frustrated, hopeless and helpless when it comes to changing these patterns.  Those who struggle with emotional eating often feel that a diet or wellness program is the only way out of the pattern. However, diets inflict control, restriction and force us into having to think about what to—or not to—eat constantly. Diets may have their place in the world, especially for someone who does not struggle with emotional eating patterns, however, the data is pretty compelling when it comes to the statistics related to the effectiveness of dieting.

It is estimated that each year 45 million Americans go on a diet and that $33 billion is spent on weight loss products. According to the CDC, nearly half of all adults attempted to lose weight in 2018. Research through the National Institute of Health has shown that more than half of the lost weight was regained within two years. The same study showed that by five years post diet, more than 80% of lost weight was regained. Those are not so great numbers in favor of dieting! Yet, the dieting industry continues to prey on people’s weaknesses, exploiting weight as a problem, and offering restriction and control as the only solution. However, clearly their solution is temporary, problematic and potentially damaging to both our minds and our bodies.

Emotional eating really is an attempt to care for ourselves. Soothing emotional pain and life’s stressors with food provides us with a break, a numbing out, a moment where we can feel really good while eating the chosen or desired food. As human beings, we really don’t like to feel uncomfortable or to have to experience pain in any way. We avoid pain, including emotional pain, at all costs, and most of us are not given great coping strategies for dealing with painful emotions as children. While we often end up causing a host of other problems for ourselves through this avoidance of emotional discomfort with food, it is quick, easily available, and works every time.

When this pattern of emotional eating becomes the only way that we know how to handle our emotional suffering, it creates a vicious and dangerous cycle where food is the problem and food is the solution. Emotional eating can lead to undesired weight gain, which incites additional uncomfortable feelings of failure, pain, frustration, and often shame. You can see how this cycle continues to loop, grow roots, and create so much suffering, despite the intended desire and attempt to avoid pain. Patterns of emotional eating often leads to body image struggles, internalized shame, and creates a much deeper suffering, which often only thrusts us back into the yo-yo dieting cycle. Unfortunately, dieting often feels like the only possible solution, yet with the statistics related to dieting you can really foresee where that will lead without some other, more helpful intervention.

This is where mindful and intuitive eating practices can begin to offer some support, hope and challenge to the dieting mentality. Learning to be present with food, listen to our bodies, respect feeling hungry and connect with our bodies in a real way is tremendously powerful. However, difficult and painful emotions will inevitably arise again. Especially if someone has endured trauma or significant suffering (which is pretty much all of us) and a trigger occurs, the pull towards emotional eating can be very strong no matter how much mindful eating you’ve practiced or how in tune you are with your bodies hunger and full cues.

Emotional eating is impossible to heal through a diet or by simply being present with food, hunger, fullness or rejecting diets alone. To heal emotional eating, addressing the uncomfortable emotions, learning about emotional patterns of avoidance, as well as our stressors, and understanding our emotions and processing them is vital to this healing. Healing from the inside out is the only way because emotional eating really has nothing to do with the food at all, but how the food numbs our feelings and comforts our suffering.

There is a misconception that if you heal from emotional eating you won’t find pleasure with eating and be able to enjoy food in the same way. This is a fear that needs to be cleared up immediately, and often arises out of the wake of dieting where deprivation and restriction are necessary. When you can heal from emotional eating and integrate mindful and intuitive eating practices in a way that allows you to be the expert on not only in what your body wants and needs, but also in what brings you pleasure, you can create an immensely pleasurable relationship with food. There is a big difference in eating to experience pleasure versus eating to eliminate pain.

When you explore your patterns, emotions, the what, when, and why you jump towards avoidance with food (or any in any other way) rather than feeling your feelings, you can develop awareness into yourself very deeply. Self-awareness is always the first step; self-awareness is always where we must start on any journey. Without awareness there cannot be any change. To begin, it is helpful to give space to your feelings, to begin to learn and create a language related to feelings and to practice awareness, in the moment if possible, or as reflection if you find that you missed a moment of emotional suppression.

Journaling, mindfulness practices, meditation and reading about emotions are all ways to get closer to our inner world. When we offer ourselves time for reflection on our deeper internal experiences and to determine what really is going on inside ourselves we can discover what are we really feeling and why it is that we feel this way. Discovering what brings ourselves pleasure, comfort, ease, and joy in non-food ways can help create coping strategies that are more beneficial and useful. With time, practice and constantly growing in our self-awareness, food can become unentangled from the web of our emotions.

Giving space to finding pleasure in eating, delighting in foods that do bring us pleasure, comfort, ease and joy when we are not in a space of stress or emotional suffering also creates an opportunity to heal. When stuck in patterns of emotional eating, finding actual joy in eating can trigger feelings of shame or undeservingness, this is an important area to explore as well. When diets, restriction, hiding or withholding pleasure as punishment have been entangled with food, pleasure, body image, and eating, then choosing to eat decadent foods can feel like “cheating.” This is the process of letting go of old stories, patterns and ways of being with food and with ourselves. If eating something we desire causes increased discomfort, this the opposite of our original intent when it comes to healing our relationship with food. It’s helpful to get curious about how this fits into each of our own food stories.

This healing process from the inside out requires a willingness to let ourselves be a work in progress. So for now, start with self-awareness, what do you notice about your patterns? What does it mean about you when you find yourself emotional eating? Get curious. Journal. Spend time in deeper self-reflection. When we can become aware of our patterns, as well as the negative internalized beliefs more clearly we can begin to dive deeper and deeper into the exploration of emotions. This is the work required to truly heal from emotional eating. I hope you find some time to be present with your patterns, your self, and I’ll be back soon with more specific ways to help explore emotions fully and deeply as you continue along your healing journey.

How to Integrate Intuitive Eating Principle 10: Honor Your Health - Gentle Nutrition

The tenth principle of Intuitive Eating is: Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition. When working through, integrating and processing the other nine principles of Intuitive Eating, you will find there is nothing prescriptive about what to eat. When you are immersed in the process of intuitive eating, you are the expert on what your body wants and needs.

The more you tune into your body, develop awareness and pay attention to the cues and signals from your body, the more you know what foods serve your body and your mind and what foods do not. You know how you feel when you overeat, under eat and when you’ve eaten just what your body and mind needs. The truth is that there is no one right way for everyone to eat. Foods that might make one person feel great might make another feel terrible. When you are intuitively eating you are able to make these assessments and make choices based on what is best for your body.

One of the most challenging elements of intuitive eating is developing the ability to trust yourself with food. To not just know what your body wants and needs, but to feed your body what it wants and needs. If you have a long history of dieting, most likely you feel that certain trigger foods create an automatic response to eat them or overeat them and that pulls you away from the attunement you’ve worked to create with your body. This causes uncertainty and keeps your relationship with food in a challenging space. When you let yourself eat what your body wants and needs you will listen to the subtle and the obvious cues your body sends you about the foods you eat. The key is to remain mindful and tuned into your body in order to consistently make the choices that serve your body.

When you are fully in tune with your body’s wants and needs you know what makes you feel good in mind body and spirit. This is where the gentle nutrition element comes in within this process of intuitive eating. Our bodies are designed to assimilate the nutrients from whole foods. We need protein, vitamins, minerals, fats, fiber and carbohydrates to be well, feel well and live well. Your body is literally made up of the food that you eat. Your food becomes your cells, tissues and organs, the more nutrient dense your diet, the more these cells, tissues and organs will thrive. The more that your body thrives the more energy, vitality and mental wellbeing you will experience.

When you honor your health, you begin to focus on what to eat, not what not to eat. When you live in a mindset of nourishment and honoring your health, you focus on ensuring that you provide your body with the nutrients it needs on a daily basis—through the foods that you eat—so that you can truly feel vital and healthy in mind, body and spirit.

When you consider what you typically eat in a day, you might note where the nutrients that your body needs to thrive are coming from? How many servings of vegetables, fruits and plant-based foods are you taking in every single day? When you construct a way of eating that focuses on what to eat versus what not to eat, you can ensure that you satisfy your taste buds and your body. When you consider how you will nourish yourself and feel well daily and follow through with how you want to feel, you will create a sense of accomplishment and feel the difference in how your body functions and feels every day. 

When you are eating plenty of veggies, fruits, seeds, nuts, proteins and making them taste delicious with lively herbs and spices, you will feel satisfied and satiated. When you feel satisfied and satiated you experience fewer cravings and notice when cravings are emotionally driven more easily. When you focus on what to eat and not what not to eat, naturally you will fill your plate with more nutrient dense foods and there just won’t be the same space for less nutrient dense foods.

This is not about perfection or feeling guilty if some of the things you choose to eat are not super nutrient dense. You will not become nutritionally deficient from one meal or snack; the focus is more about the daily choices you make over time. This process is about focusing on nourishing your body. There may be room for snacks and treats that are not super nutrient dense, however, if you know that you are feeding your body what it needs to thrive, you will begin to create more balance and feel in tune and make choices based on what your body wants versus what you might be craving.

When you are eating well you will feel well. When you are eating mostly junky processed foods devoid of nutrients you most likely will feel junky. When you are eating in a balanced and nonrestrictive manner you will feel more balanced. When you focus on how you want to feel the choices become more and more evident when you are considering what to eat, how to construct a meal and how each choice you make when it comes to food can reflect and support how you want to feel in mind, body and spirit.

How to Integrate Intuitive Eating Principle 8: Respect Your Body

The eighth principle of Intuitive Eating is: Respect Your Body. If you have been following along with this Integrating Intuitive and Mindful Eating series on my blog, then you might have noticed how principle 7 and now principle 8 are not directly related to food. (Principle 9 isn’t either—stay tuned!) These principles address how to be with yourself in a more mindful and compassionate way both internally and externally which naturally impacts how to be with your food.

With this principle I will explore and address how to be with your body in a respectful manner, which most people struggle with at some point in their lives. If you notice the chatter in your mind or out loud about your body, what is it usually about? Is it usually positive or negative in nature? The truth is that all bodies deserve respect, yours, hers, his, theirs and mine. There are no exceptions.

When you notice any internal bias you have in relation to what is a “good” or “healthy” body and alternatively what is a “not as good” or “unhealthy” body, where did these biases come from. Let’s be clear, it’d be rare not to have some internal bias seeing as how much emphasis is placed on body image, weight loss and standards of beauty in our culture and naturally we are always concerned about how we are measuring up in relation to these standards.

How you think about, speak about and interact with your own body is what this principle is about. However, it is helpful to consider any body shaming, judging or otherwise you notice that you do internally, or say out loud, towards others and practice shifting these thoughts and words to body neutrality, positivity and kindness. This will support your own process in offering these same concepts to yourself.

Mindfulness offers a significant amount of support to this concept of respecting your body, especially as it relates to the aspect of being nonjudgmental. One of the most effective ways to begin to respect your body is to practice body neutrality through nonjudgment. This is a very useful practice and just like is was applied to food in the fourth principle of intuitive eating: Challenge the Food Police it’s tremendously powerful to apply the concept on nonjudgment to how you relate to your body.

Learning to understand body neutrality is simple but not necessarily easy. To practice body neutrality, find a time when you can just be. Close your eyes and scan your body in your mind’s eye from head to toe moving intentionally through each part of your body. With each body part, first name it and then find the facts about it, for example: ears-used for hearing located on the sides of my head. Notice how there are no judgments, just facts, just what is true about this body part in this moment. Maintain neutrality and nonjudgment throughout. Notice how this feels with body parts you may not have any positive or negative associations about and parts that you do.

The body parts you find it most difficult to be nonjudgmental about with yourself, you will need to practice more regularly. For many this simple and yet not easy body neutrality practice is very helpful and eye opening. Get really curious about why you have the judgments you have about your body. With each judgment consider:

• Where did each judgment come from?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from your family growing up?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from your peers?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from society?

• Who set the standards for “beauty” and body shape that you adhere to?

• What messages do you wish you’d heard or would like to live by?

• Can you begin to offer these messages to yourself now?

Once you practice body neutrality until it feels more natural, acceptable and your mind does not attempt to pull you towards the negative, you can begin to practice body positivity and body gratitude. Within this practice, you go through the same exercise, resting comfortably and work your way from head to toe in your mind’s eye and name each body part and something you like about it and something you can be grateful for about it. If you find it difficult that’s ok! Stay with the practice and continue a few times per week until it becomes a more and more comfortable practice.

Try taking this attitude with you wherever you go. As you begin to shift your own internal judgments about your body and allow that to impact how you judge the bodies of others, begin to notice and reflect on the following:

• How much mental space is taken up by body judgment?

• How often do you judge the bodies of others?

• How often do you compare your body to the bodies of others?

• How does this make you feel?

• Why do you think you do this?

• Are you ready to shift this internal experience?

If so, begin practicing body neutrality of others. Even if your thought begins with a judgment, can you create a neutral thought such as it’s just another person in the body that they have today, it’s not good or bad, it just is. As this becomes more comfortable, begin to shift into body positivity of others. What compliment can you offer either internally to recognize it for yourself or out loud if it’s possible to do so.

These simple but not easy practices can transform your relationship to your body, to yourself and to food. When you can just be with your body without the negativity and noise you will create a less stressful internal environment for yourself. When you begin to shift from body shaming, judging and comparing you open yourself to feel a great deal of respect for your own amazing body as well as respecting the bodies of others.