How to Make Healthy Habits Stick

Welcoming a new year often comes with hopes and dreams of change. You might see new year new you! all over social media, you might be hearing a lot of chatter about new year’s resolutions, you might even be creating your own. When it comes to change and creating new habits in life that are pretty different than your current habits, it takes a lot more than dreaming about the changes we want.

You see, creating a new habit is hard. There are countless books written on this topic, all so full of great information trying to hack our human nature that so strongly pulls us to return to our set point of being. While there are many great tactics out there to create new habits and make them stick, the one thread that seems to run through them all is practicing the new desired habit long enough so that you no longer have to think about it anymore. The process up to that point can be dicey, but it is possible.

Generally our brains are fairly lazy. Once it doesn’t have to work so hard to resist the changes we are trying to make, it finally accepts the new habit and then stops resisting it. Eventually the new habit occurs unresisted, without having to think about it. When you are trying to create any change in your life, the inevitable force you are up against is just yourself and the old habit you are trying to replace. You have to constantly work towards convincing yourself that the new habit is worth keeping around through practice and consistency.

When it comes to healing from a life of chronic dieting and emotional eating, it can be tough to create a new habit of relating to food in a non-emotional way. The truth is that diets don’t work but creating new healthy habits, one small incremental step at a time does. If you want to transform your relationship with food, your body and yourself, it’s best to start small, acknowledge and accept that it will take time, effort, concentration, focus, backsliding and picking yourself back up and planning and…you get it, it just takes a lot.

It’s helpful to start the process of change and healing your relationship with food with giving up the belief that a diet or any “lifestyle” or wellness program will cure everything. It is helpful to then get really clear on why you want what you want. Having a plan, a dedicated focus and the willingness to commit to yourself and recommit to yourself over and over again will bring you closer to making this desired change.

I think one reason change and creating new habits is so hard is because we’ve been seduced by the idea that it should be easy. This idea sells a lot of diets, program and systems. So much media attention is placed on 3 simple tricks to…, or the 1 hack you need to…, or how to lose X pounds fast while still eating whatever you want. These are all sensational, get our attention and when it doesn’t provide the promised result we just get caught up into the next shiny headline.

If you can let go of the belief that it will be easy, simple and fast and then trust yourself to show up for what you want, it may not be fast and easy but it will be possible. There might be some fun hacks, and it might be interesting to learn what makes us tick, but there is nothing like starting where you are with what you have and making a choice that today is the day—every single day.

To begin, know what you want, what vision you have for yourself, make sure you are super clear on WHY you want this. It’s helpful when your why is enough to motivate you during those times when your motivation wanes. Then determine the habit you’d like to create that will help move you closer to where you’d like to be and why you want to be there.

Now consider the action steps it will take to implement this habit. For example, if you’d like to begin eating more vegetables, the action steps might be, 1. Buy a leafy green or other vegetable that you like, 2. Have a recipe ready to prepare this vegetable, 3. Plan what day you will cook/prepare this recipe, 4. Follow through on your plan, 5. Reflect on how you feel. 6. Repeat!

The process of reflecting on how you feel will help you navigate how it’s really going and what you might need to shift or change. This is how habits become sustainable, when they are doable within your current life schedule, desirable-you truly want it-and when they are not rigid. If it isn’t doable, desirable and if you feel like you have to be perfect you are setting yourself up for failure.

Once this new habit is FIRMLY in place (you no longer have to think about it anymore and you are eating vegetables every single day without resistance) choose the next habit you’d like to implement. This process is simple and yet definitely not easy. There are going to be days you don’t want to eat your veggies. There will be days you have to throw a vegetable away because you never got around to preparing it or eating it. There will be days you don’t have time… These will feel like failures and it feels terrible to fail so then we figure it’s easier to just stop and give up then it is to try again and possibly fail again. This is backsliding. Backsliding is an inevitable part of the process of change.

When backsliding occurs, please don’t get discouraged. Return to reflecting on your goals, what you want and understand why it’s not working. Find the belief in what you want to be possible so you can keep trudging forward with your plan. Return to WHY you want this and let that help to support you and motivate you to keep trying. Then one magical day you’ll just be eating your vegetables without having to think about it (or do the exercise or meditation or cleaning or stop eating when satisfied or…whatever your goal may be) and you will feel the benefits of your hard work, determination and the willingness to believe in yourself.

There is no simple trick, only the determination to put in the work and make it happen, even when—especially when—you don’t want to. Staying the course even when you backslide, even when it’s hard, will help you learn and grow and create the change you desire. One day it becomes not so hard, and you feel the shift and that’s when you know you can savor the changes you’ve made and even begin to look to what’s next. Consider taking yourself through this process and prepare yourself for the challenges and the delights that lie ahead.

Happy New Year!!

Intuitive Eating Principle 9: Movement - Feel the Difference

The ninth principle of Intuitive Eating is: Movement—Feel the Difference. This is another non-food based intuitive eating principle. This principle offers a powerful way to feel connected to and truly alive in the body you have today.

Feeling healthy, strong, empowered and content with your body is a primary component of this principle. We all know that movement/exercise is important for our physical and mental health, so why can it be so difficult to create and stick to a consistent movement routine? One main reason is that we can often get hung up on what kind of exercise is “best” versus what we actually enjoy. If exercise feels like just another chore it will be difficult to remain excited about it. When you find what movement you actually enjoy and look forward to, you can feel the difference in both your mindset and your body.

There is no one “best” or right way to move your body. When you find movement that you enjoy and actually find pleasure in, you are far more likely to make it a habit. Many people think that running, high intensity interval training, Crossfit or getting a Peloton will make all of the difference and will magically create the desire to exercise. However, if you don’t enjoy it, you most likely will not follow through with doing it consistently. Consistency is really how movement benefits our mental and physical wellbeing and allows you to feel the difference.

If movement/exercise becomes a means only to support a desire for weight loss, it can get tangled up in the diet mentality. (You can review principle one: Reject the Diet Mentality here.) When it feels like exercise is solely related to attempting to control the size and shape of your body, then that movement can feel like a chore, or worse punishment, and can create feelings of being a failure. This will ONLY equate to giving up because those feelings of failure, resistance and discomfort are the very feelings most people attempt to avoid.

When you break it down and consider what you enjoy doing to move your body, if you can find something that brings you a sense of accomplishment, makes your body feel good and lifts your mood, it is a win-win-win! When you focus on how the movement you choose makes you feel, this creates an opportunity to choose movement that brings you pleasure and can become something you crave. Another benefit of focusing on how the movement makes you feel is that desired feeling state can support you through any resistance.

Focusing on how movement makes you feel will create feelings of alignment with how you want to feel. When you can connect with how you want to feel and movement/exercise creates those positive internal connections, you are far more likely to follow through and remain consistent. When movement creates feelings of being strong, accomplished, healthy and relaxed, you will be more consistent because these are feelings most of us want to feel more frequently.

The true key here is finding movement that you truly enjoy and look forward to doing. If you love to be outside, find movement that you can do outdoors in nature such as walking, biking, playing a team sport, jogging, hiking… If you prefer to be indoors you might enjoy yoga, dance classes, barre classes or any other group fitness classes at the gym. You can always catch a YouTube video of any kind for any movement you like to do. If you love a variety and mixing it up you can craft a routine based on several forms of movement that bring you pleasure.

No matter what form of movement you choose, be sure not to entangle it with calorie burn, punishing yourself for eating something you judged as “bad” or in any way to control your body in some form. While your body may change as you become stronger with consistent movement, that can be a side bonus that just happens by the way. If changing and controlling your body is your sole purpose, most likely it will trigger anxiety, stress and frustration—and this is simply not sustainable. Find movement you enjoy and allow yourself to do it for the sheer pleasure of moving your body and feeling good in mind, body and spirit.

Now to feel the difference. When you begin to create your movement routine and put it into practice consistently, keep notes on how you feel prior to and following the movement that you engage in consistently. Reflect on how the movement you choose to do makes you feel. Any time that you are experiencing resistance, consult your notes and connect with the feelings you experience following the movement that you do. If you experience resistance, ask yourself if you could commit to doing 10 minutes of some form of movement. Allow the positive feelings that you know you can create for yourself through movement to motivate you to commit to those 10 minutes. Once the 10 minutes are up, you can stop, or if you’re feeling really good, you might just find that you want to keep going! Getting started is generally the hardest part. Keeping up with your reflection log related to how movement makes you feel gives you a layer of support to create consistency.

The first step is consider what you love to do. The second step is to get started. There is no right way to get started and you can always change your mind and find something new so try not to get hung up until you find the “perfect” exercise. When you begin moving your body in a way that you enjoy consistently you will feel the difference and create a healthy relationship with your body and with yourself. What movement can you commit to doing today?

How to Integrate Intuitive Eating Principle 8: Respect Your Body

The eighth principle of Intuitive Eating is: Respect Your Body. If you have been following along with this Integrating Intuitive and Mindful Eating series on my blog, then you might have noticed how principle 7 and now principle 8 are not directly related to food. (Principle 9 isn’t either—stay tuned!) These principles address how to be with yourself in a more mindful and compassionate way both internally and externally which naturally impacts how to be with your food.

With this principle I will explore and address how to be with your body in a respectful manner, which most people struggle with at some point in their lives. If you notice the chatter in your mind or out loud about your body, what is it usually about? Is it usually positive or negative in nature? The truth is that all bodies deserve respect, yours, hers, his, theirs and mine. There are no exceptions.

When you notice any internal bias you have in relation to what is a “good” or “healthy” body and alternatively what is a “not as good” or “unhealthy” body, where did these biases come from. Let’s be clear, it’d be rare not to have some internal bias seeing as how much emphasis is placed on body image, weight loss and standards of beauty in our culture and naturally we are always concerned about how we are measuring up in relation to these standards.

How you think about, speak about and interact with your own body is what this principle is about. However, it is helpful to consider any body shaming, judging or otherwise you notice that you do internally, or say out loud, towards others and practice shifting these thoughts and words to body neutrality, positivity and kindness. This will support your own process in offering these same concepts to yourself.

Mindfulness offers a significant amount of support to this concept of respecting your body, especially as it relates to the aspect of being nonjudgmental. One of the most effective ways to begin to respect your body is to practice body neutrality through nonjudgment. This is a very useful practice and just like is was applied to food in the fourth principle of intuitive eating: Challenge the Food Police it’s tremendously powerful to apply the concept on nonjudgment to how you relate to your body.

Learning to understand body neutrality is simple but not necessarily easy. To practice body neutrality, find a time when you can just be. Close your eyes and scan your body in your mind’s eye from head to toe moving intentionally through each part of your body. With each body part, first name it and then find the facts about it, for example: ears-used for hearing located on the sides of my head. Notice how there are no judgments, just facts, just what is true about this body part in this moment. Maintain neutrality and nonjudgment throughout. Notice how this feels with body parts you may not have any positive or negative associations about and parts that you do.

The body parts you find it most difficult to be nonjudgmental about with yourself, you will need to practice more regularly. For many this simple and yet not easy body neutrality practice is very helpful and eye opening. Get really curious about why you have the judgments you have about your body. With each judgment consider:

• Where did each judgment come from?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from your family growing up?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from your peers?

• What messages did you hear/receive about your body or body judgments from society?

• Who set the standards for “beauty” and body shape that you adhere to?

• What messages do you wish you’d heard or would like to live by?

• Can you begin to offer these messages to yourself now?

Once you practice body neutrality until it feels more natural, acceptable and your mind does not attempt to pull you towards the negative, you can begin to practice body positivity and body gratitude. Within this practice, you go through the same exercise, resting comfortably and work your way from head to toe in your mind’s eye and name each body part and something you like about it and something you can be grateful for about it. If you find it difficult that’s ok! Stay with the practice and continue a few times per week until it becomes a more and more comfortable practice.

Try taking this attitude with you wherever you go. As you begin to shift your own internal judgments about your body and allow that to impact how you judge the bodies of others, begin to notice and reflect on the following:

• How much mental space is taken up by body judgment?

• How often do you judge the bodies of others?

• How often do you compare your body to the bodies of others?

• How does this make you feel?

• Why do you think you do this?

• Are you ready to shift this internal experience?

If so, begin practicing body neutrality of others. Even if your thought begins with a judgment, can you create a neutral thought such as it’s just another person in the body that they have today, it’s not good or bad, it just is. As this becomes more comfortable, begin to shift into body positivity of others. What compliment can you offer either internally to recognize it for yourself or out loud if it’s possible to do so.

These simple but not easy practices can transform your relationship to your body, to yourself and to food. When you can just be with your body without the negativity and noise you will create a less stressful internal environment for yourself. When you begin to shift from body shaming, judging and comparing you open yourself to feel a great deal of respect for your own amazing body as well as respecting the bodies of others.