To Weigh or Not to Weigh?

It seems that weight talk is constantly a topic of conversation. So many people obsess about the latest fad diet, their weight, how to lose weight, how to keep the weight off, other peoples weight and so on and so on… Body image and self-esteem have become intensely intertwined with weight.

So many people have the belief that weight loss will bring happiness and confidence. They believe that being thinner is best and that thin equals health. This simply is not true. This is a myth often perpetuated by the media and even the medical community. People often feel judged no matter what their weight is and believe that others are judging their bodies no matter what size and shape they may be. Many others are comparing themselves to everyone all around them and feeling inadequate and unworthy as a result of this comparison. This is not good!

For so many their relationship with the scale is frustrating and complicated. It feels as though stepping onto the scale will reveal whether they have been “good” or “bad”, which in turn leads to feeling either good or bad emotionally and about themselves. This action of letting the scale deliver how you will feel gives the number on the scale a tremendous amount of power over you and your mood state and self-worth.

When you step on a scale, will you feel happy because the number is lower or closer to what you think you want it to be? When you step on a scale will you feel angry, disappointed or shameful because the number is higher or climbing away from what you believe is an acceptable number to see? If the scale creates anxiety, tension, anger, stress, fear or shame it may be time to change your relationship with the scale—it may be time to break up with your scale.

Many of those I work with have a very complicated relationship with the scale and nearly all say that weighing themselves is a dreaded experience that provokes anxiety. Giving the scale this power over you robs you of your joy and can have a lasting impact all throughout the day on how you feel about yourself. The scale can also create a false sense of happiness and when you place your worth into a number on the scale, either way, you’re giving your power away to the scale.

So many feel confused about whether or not to use a scale as a tool in their journey of healing their relationship with food. I try to encourage everyone to make the choice that is best for them and serves their goals and allows them to feel empowered. There is no one right answer to the question of whether to weigh or not to weigh?

If you do choose to weigh yourself, these are some questions to consider before stepping a foot onto the scale:

-Will I be disappointed if the number is higher than the last time I stepped onto the scale?

-Can I view the number in a nonjudgmental way, not as a good number or a bad number, just information?

-Can I tell myself that I am worthy no matter what the number is on the scale?

-Can I feel deserving of eating and nourishing my body if the number is higher than I anticipated or hoped for?

-Can I use a self-affirming statement to remind myself that my worth is far greater than any number on the scale?

If you choose to step on the scale, it will be helpful if you can use the concept of nonjudgment within the process. When you engage with the number on the scale nonjudgmentally, the number is not good or bad, it’s just a number. The number does not represent if you are good or bad, it’s just a number. The number does not reflect your worth, it’s just a number. If you can approach the process with this nonjudgmental awareness and feel that the number is just information that can simply inform your process, then by all means, step on the scale. If you can’t, don’t.

If you feel you cannot answer the above questions affirmatively and that you will indeed judge yourself or feel less worthy based on the number, or if you will choose not to feed yourself, or binge because of the frustration, then it will not serve in your healing process to step on the scale.

The scale often represents emotional residue from diet culture where the only goal you have is to lose weight. This becomes so deeply entrenched with self-worth that if the number does not change or goes up it means that you have been “bad” or “cheating” on your diet. If the number goes down you have been being “good” and are celebrated. If you can untangle your relationship with your past dieting and empower yourself to eat in a way that serves your body and satisfies your mind and body, the number will begin to have less control over you. The more you ease away from dieting and more into intuitive and mindful eating, the less you will allow or rely on the scale to determine your worth and happiness.

I’d recommend that you do break up with your scale, committing to do so for just one month. During this month you can see what mental and emotional impact that it may have on you to not weigh yourself AT ALL.

Be curious about how it feels to leave the scale behind for a bit and notice if it frees up space in your mind. Be curious to see if it allows you to feel more empowered and in control, or if it leaves you feeling helpless and out of control. Just notice, be aware and allow this time away from obsessing about a number inform the way you interact with and use a scale going forward.

Once some people try this exercise of breaking up with the scale for a month, they choose to get rid of the scale for good (woo hoo!) Others find that they can begin to shift their relationship with it over time and experience their weight nonjudgmentally when they do step on the scale. Some find they are indeed able to use their weight as information in a nonemotional way. For some who choose to break up with their scale for good, they will ask their doctors and nurses to keep the number to themselves at the doctor’s office, they’d prefer not to know.

Wherever you are with your relationship with the scale is ok, and if you’d like that relationship to change, know that it can. You can feel empowered to make the choice you’d like to make when it comes to the question, to weigh or not to weigh?

No matter what you choose, know that you are worthy of feeling good and nourishing and caring for your body no matter what. You are worthy and deserve to speak to yourself, treat yourself and be treated by others with respect, kindness and compassion.

Your weight does not reflect or determine your worth. When you step into your worth and empower yourself to choose how to relate to a scale, even if that means breaking up with it for good, you will feel your worth expanding in a healthy, empowering and meaningful way.

6 Steps to Break Free From Emotional Eating

Are you ready to break free from emotional eating? If so, you are not alone. So many struggle with a complicated, dysfunctional, and unsettling relationship with food. This arduous relationship with food triggers a food-focused-stress-inducing internal dialogue constantly running through the mind. Thoughts such as: “What should I eat?” “I shouldn’t have eaten that.” “What is the best diet to lose weight?” “Should I log my food on an app?” “Should I count calories?” “I can’t believe I ate that.” “Do I need to skip lunch to make up for the cake I had last night?” “Is bread good or bad?” “Low-fat or low-carb or neither or both…?” Sound familiar?

This internal dialogue goes on and on and creates anxiety, stress, and feeling, well, just generally bad about yourself. These negative emotions then cause even more discomfort internally and a sense of being overwhelmed. These uncomfortable emotions likely result in mindless, stress, and emotional eating. The negative cycle then continues: food is the problem and yet food is the solution. If this sounds familiar, I assure you, there is hope to finally break free from the vicious cycle of emotional eating.

As a Wholistic Food Therapist, I primarily work with women who struggle with an emotional attachment to food and consider themselves to be stress-eaters. These six steps are always where we begin to embark on the process of healing from the deepest roots. As you heal your relationship with food, inevitably, you heal your relationship with yourself. These six powerful steps create the opportunity to make peace with food, once and for all. This approach takes you directly to the root, clears it out, and allows the opportunity to plant new seeds of a renewed vision for your life, inner strength, empowerment, self-awareness, and resiliency. Begin to follow these six steps to break free from emotional eating today.

Step 1: Create your vision and set specific goals

Creating your vision is determining what you want your relationship with food to become. Once you create your vision, you will set goals with action steps. These action steps are the specific steps you take in order to meet the goal. They set you up for success as action is the only way to move forward, to change, to align with your vision in order to reach your goals.

Step 2: Stop dieting and eat REAL food!

Diets are restrictive and often set you up for a binge because there is always an endpoint to a diet. Diets that focus on weight loss alone are not sustainable throughout your life. The changes need to be sustainable and eating REAL food is just that. When you focus on balanced, whole food nutrition, you naturally focus on what to eat, not what not to eat. The more whole and healthy your food, the healthier and happier you will become. Having balanced nutrition in a non-restrictive manner ends the deprivation-over indulgence cycle.

Step 3: Become emotionally aware

Emotional eating is driven by just that, emotions! Emotions are information about how you are experiencing your life. When you shift to become emotionally intelligent and aware, you will no longer fear experiencing your emotions. A tool that can help is journaling. Keeping an emotions journal gives you a place to express the emotion and explore why you are experiencing the emotion. For example, if you feel angry, you might write: I am angry because I am not ok with how (someone) treated me. This allows you to be present with your feeling and respond to it accordingly rather than avoid it, which will only send you back into the emotional eating cycle. Learning to identify the emotions, understand their purpose, and be present with them creates emotional awareness, freedom and peace internally.

Step 4: Get exercise and movement into your life

Movement and exercise are powerful mood lifters. If you are struggling with overwhelming emotions, exercising-- or any movement will significantly impact your process of breaking free from emotional eating. Find what exercise/movement you enjoy, that you don’t view as a chore, and do it today. Even 10 minutes of moving your body can significantly impact how you feel.

Step 5: Create a Positive Nourishment List

A Positive Nourishment List is a list of things you enjoy, you view as a treat, and that bring you a sense of fulfillment, calm, joy, and nourishment that DO NOT include food. When feeling stressed or experiencing an uncomfortable emotion, access your list and do something to help divert your energy away from emotional eating. This list will help you cope more effectively with your emotions.

Step 6: Mindful Eating

When you are present with your food you are less likely to overeat and more likely to feel satisfied. Mindful eating is just that, being present with your food without judgment or distraction; no phone, TV or social media. This allows you the opportunity to taste your food, to take in the aromas, textures, and sensations. When you are eating mindfully, you are not judging your food, not concerned about the calories, and not overthinking about what you are eating. This creates the opportunity to notice your hunger and full cues more intently, which allows you listen to your body. Emotional eating distracts attention away from the body, mindful eating allows you to be present in your body. Try challenging yourself to eat one meal or snack mindfully every day and notice what happens!

Follow these 6 steps to begin
finding freedom from emotional eating and
make peace with food today!

Want to learn more? I will be offering a 6-week online course that guides you through these steps and enhances the process of making peace with food. You can also check out my book: Wholistic Food Therapy: A Mindful Approach to Making Peace with Food. As you implement these 6 steps to freedom from emotional eating, I look forward to hearing about your progress!