How to Balance Your Nervous System

Many of us are struggling with a nervous system that is out of balance from the increased stress and anxiety of COVID-19. Understanding the basics of how your nervous system functions and what you can do to balance it can create a feeling of empowerment as you decrease your stress and increase a feeling of wellbeing. Feeling out of control increases this imbalance while creating opportunities to feel healthy and balanced increase your inner strength and wellbeing.

The nervous system, which is of course intimately interconnected with all the systems of your body, is designed to keep us safe. When we experience an emotion such as fear, worry or anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system takes over and helps to prepare you to fight or flee. The body does not know the difference as to whether this is happening in real time, or if it is something you are fearing in your mind. This can cause a constant state of stress and anxiety which triggers the release of stress hormones throughout your system constantly.

Our fight or flight response is not meant to be triggered over and over again, and while the fear thoughts might feel true, they often are not based in reality. (If you’d like a refresher on how to examine your thoughts, CLICK HERE.) Right now if you are worrying about getting sick, your loved ones, getting back to normal, finances, the economy or all of the above and more, you are most likely triggering this stress response at an overwhelming speed.

The parasympathetic nervous system is your rest and digest mode. It keeps your body in a state of homeostasis. This is where you want to live, unless of course there is a true emergency. The good news is that you always have access to your parasympathetic nervous system through your breath. You will breathe whether you think about it or not, however, when you bring the process of breathing into your consciousness and present moment experience, you can regulate your nervous system and return to balance.

Here’s an overview of the functions of your nervous system.

SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE:

• Elevated heart rate

• Chronic muscle tension (body prepared to fight or flee with no release of energy)

• Increased threat perception (life seems more dangerous)

• Diminished neocortical functioning (can’t think clearly or focus)

• Loss of language and speech (blood diverted from prefrontal cortex to your fear center)

• Experiencing fearful or angry emotions

• Reactivity (emotional reactions vs. reasoned action)

• Perpetuation of anxiety and traumatic stress (mutual reinforcement: body says “I’m afraid,” mind says “there must be something to be afraid of,” body says “I’m ready to run or fight”)

• High brain-wave activity (thoughts race and are scattered, focusing is difficult)

PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONSE:

• Optimal or normal heart rate

• Muscles relax (body feels comfortable)

• Decreased threat perception (life seems safer)

• Peak cognitive performance (can learn, reason, make wise decisions)

• Ability to speak about and make sense of experiences (optimal blood flow to cortex)

• Ability to regulate and handle a range of emotions

• Intentionality (reasoned actions vs. emotional reactivity)

• Positive social engagement (desire to seek pleasant and intimate contact)

• Ability to cultivate a sense of inner calm, reset nervous system to optimal functioning

• Low brain-wave activity (thoughts are focused, mental clarity)

One of the most effective ways to help yourself live in the parasympathetic nervous system response, or rest and digest mode, is by breathing deeply, completely and consciously.

DIAPHRAMAGHTIC BREATHING

To practice, place one hand on your abdomen and one hand on your chest. Take a few breaths and notice which hand is moving. Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose. Now begin to direct your breath to fill your abdomen as you inhale, your hand on your abdomen will lift. As you exhale, draw your navel in towards your spine, feeling your hand on your abdomen move back inwards. Repeat for 1-5 minutes, attempting to keep your focus on the process of breathing. Anytime your mind wanders (which most likely will be a lot) return your focus to your breath.

Diaphragmatic breathing allows your nervous system to reset. Once you have practiced deep breathing, check in with how you are feeling, your stress and anxiety levels. There are many breathing practices that can help to reset and calm your nervous system, however begin with this simple, accessible and always available breath.

Once you’ve practiced deep breathing, try one or more of the following techniques to maintain balance.

ADDITIONAL TECHNIQUES TO HELP CREATE INNER BALANCE

·      Count backwards from 100-1 by 7’s or 5’s. This gets your working memory going and removes the focus from the emotion center and part of the brain that activates the stress response.

·      Do a body scan. Scan through your body in your mind’s eye, notice anywhere you are holding tension. Consciously allow those muscles to relax. Check in with your body often, especially the places you tend to carry the most tension (common areas are space between your eyebrows, jaw, neck and shoulders, abdomen and lower back.)

·      Talk about your feelings. Sharing how you feel can have a tremendous impact on letting go of stress and emotional tension.

·      Practice the thought examination technique. You can get a refresher on that technique here.

·      Journal. Write out your feelings, practice releasing your stress and uncomfortable emotions with your pen and paper and notice the impact.

·      Listen to calming music. This allows your nervous system to relax and reset and remain in a more calm and balanced state.

·      Practice guided meditations. Listening to someone guide you through a visualization or relaxation experience will help to reset your nervous system. I like the app Insight Timer, however you can use any app/resource for guided meditations that suit you. (You can listen to my 5 minute guided deep breathing on my resources page HERE.)

·      Do something creative. Making or creating something is not only soothing for the nervous system, it is esteem building as well. This could be art, a meal, music, decorating/rearranging your space, crafts…)

Finding your way back to a state of balance is the most valuable thing you can do for yourself when you find yourself in a state of stress or anxiety. You deserve to live a life of balance and peace. Begin to train your nervous system through these practices and feel your inner experience flourish. Start with the breath, go from there and you can create inner calm and greater health and wellbeing, no matter the circumstances of life.

5 Morning Rituals to Set Up Your Quarantined Days For Success

For so many of us, this time of social distancing and living in quarantine has our normal routines all out of sorts. Whether you are now working from home, temporarily not working, have become a home-schooling parent or a combination of all these, any routine you once had has most likely been thrown far out the window.

I know the first week I was working solely from home I felt super out of sorts. I like the structure and routine of getting ready for work, my commute time and settling into my office for the day. Now that my commute is from one room to another and my schedule has become quite different, it’s been challenging to create a new normal. I also know that my motivation has been impacted by the uncertainty and anxiety of all that is going on and a resistance to getting used to a new routine that is hopefully just temporary.

Having a daily routine is one of the most effective ways to set yourself up for success. Typically, having a schedule and a plan creates more opportunities for feeling productive. Motivation can be different when you are away from your typical routine as well. Here are five morning rituals you can integrate right away to begin to set yourself up to ease into your day, to establish a mindset of positivity and way to embrace your “new normal.”

1.   START YOUR DAY WITH GRATITUDE

When you begin your day feeling grateful, you set yourself up for feeling positive, calm and with a mindset of abundance. When you are grateful for what you have, focus on what is going well and feel the impact of gratitude, you remain free from anxiety.

Start the day using a gratitude journal and write down two or more things you are grateful for in this moment. They can be super simple, like waking up in a warm bed, feeling grateful for someone you care about, or for your health. Anytime you find yourself anxious or feeling a sense of lack or desperation, reflect on past days from your journal and notice the impact.

If journaling is not your thing, you can wake up and start the day simply by saying “Thank You.” You can express gratitude for your food before you eat or just silently state to yourself what you are grateful for in this moment. Beginning the day with gratitude creates an attitude of receptivity, positivity and hope.

2.   USE A DAILY CENTERING PRACTICE

When you use a centering practice such a meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness, prayer or reading something inspiring, you create an opportunity to release yourself from any anxiety, stress or other mental and emotional discomfort. Whatever practice feels the most comfortable for you, dedicate 5-30 minutes to this. When you feel centered and grounded, you are more likely to feel resilient and focused throughout your day.

Simply connecting to your breath, meditating, praying or reading something inspiring creates a connection to the present moment where you are free from anxious thoughts about the future and feelings of regret about the past. When you can stay grounded, centered and focused in the present moment you create a feeling of true freedom and an opportunity for joy. Don’t we all need that at this time—and really all of the time! This is a powerful way to begin your day.

3.   MOVE YOUR BODY

Dedicating a period of time to move your body in a way that makes you feel good in the morning helps to create energy for the day. This could be something very simple, like a 10-minute full body stretch, or something more complex, like a 45-minute workout. It could also be something in-between, like a 20-minute brisk walk.

Whatever you choose, let it be something that you enjoy, that makes you feel energized and builds momentum to make it through the day. If you are used to exercising at a different time of day, still take a few minutes to stretch or get your blood flowing in the morning. When you are working from home you are less likely to get in the amount of movement you would if you were commuting to work or taking your kids to school. This extra movement first thing in the morning helps to build and grow your energy while burning off stress.

4.   CREATE YOUR ACTION PLAN

When you create a plan of action, you set yourself up for success. When you do not have a plan, you might feel more scattered and disorganized. If you have a plan you will most likely be more productive. More importantly, having a plan creates a feeling of control and mastery. During these uncertain times, many people are feeling out of control due to all of the unknowns. This anxiety is toxic and can cause stagnancy.

When you create an action plan, you provide yourself with structure. This structure allows you to feel in control as you are leading yourself to where you want to go. This plan also creates a focus and a feeling of mastery. It feels really good to check things off of your to-do list! Every time you check off an action that was completed you are sending yourself a feeling of being rewarded. This builds confidence and motivation to keep plugging away at your action plan.

5.   MINDSET VISUALIZATION 

The last ritual is mindset visualization. When you put your action plan onto paper, take a moment and visualize yourself completing each item. When you place something into your mindset you are 90% more likely to get it done. This visualization is like a pre-rehearsal; therefore, your mind will be less resistant to it once the time arrives to get it done.

As you go through each item on your action plan and really see yourself completing it, notice any resistance you experience in that moment. How will you push through and ensure that you get it done? When you tackle any possible resistance early in your day while setting your mindset, you will be astounded by how the resistance dissipates and allows you to get more done.

Try implementing these five morning rituals and see how they help impact your day. These simple tools will become a habit as you practice integrating them daily.

Examining Your Thoughts: A Powerful Tool to Calm Your Anxious Mind

If the stress of the current global crisis of COVID-19 has you feeling anxious, uncertain and overwhelmed, you are not alone. These are unprecedented times. I happen to be in the “epicenter” here in NYC and it is collectively causing stress and anxiety that can be felt in the air here…and I’d imagine everywhere.

I wanted to offer this practical, evidence-based technique that you can implement immediately to help release some of the mental and emotional stress you are experiencing. This technique will help you calm your anxious mind. When you are overwhelmed, it may feel like your thoughts are racing, like there is impending doom, like there is no hope. When you use this thought examination technique, you create space to understand how your thoughts are impacting you, practice releasing them and offer yourself opportunities to get into a solution-focused mindset. 

Thought Examination Technique

This technique allows you to examine your thoughts and the impact they have on you closely. This technique changes your relationship with your thoughts and creates empowerment. Often thoughts and faulty beliefs are happening on a subconscious level, they are running in the background of your mind, however your physical body through the stress response, responds accordingly.

If you are having catastrophe based thoughts, then most likely your body will enter into a sympathetic nervous system response, or fight-or-flight mode. This is not a helpful place to be unless there is truly an immediate emergency. While this circumstance is an emergency for many, it is not helpful, and actually is damaging, to remain in this heightened state of stress and anxiety continually.

To begin practicing the technique, get out a piece of paper and practice going through the following questions based on any fears and anxieties you are experiencing and use it regularly to manage and change your relationship to any stressful thoughts.

1. Choose a fear-based thought that has been on your mind or troubling you recently.

2. Ask yourself what emotions are driving that thought.

3. Where do you feel these emotions in your physical body?

4. Ask yourself, is this thought true? Unless it is a present fact, the answer is no!

5. Ask yourself, is this thought useful? Unless you are trying to problem-solve, most likely the thought is not useful.

6. Ask yourself, what is it doing to me to have and believe this thought? This is important to evaluate how detrimental this one thought can be.

7. Ask yourself, how would I feel without this thought? This is important because it allows you to recognize how this thought is limiting your present moment experience and essentially causing unnecessary suffering.

8. Ask yourself, what is the opposite of this thought?

9. Notice how it feels in both mind and body to sit with the opposite thought. The purpose of this is not to lie to yourself or move into positive-thinking mode. The purpose of this part of the exercise is to be aware that if you are believing the first thought in this moment, then the opposite could just as well be true.

10. Mindfully reframe the thought, transform the thought into what is true right now, this process creates a reality-based thought.

11. If this thought does come true, what are three things you can do to cope with that occurrence?

Example:

1. What is the thought? If I lose my job during this health crisis, I will lose my home.

2. What are the emotions connected to having this thought? Fear, sadness, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness.

3. Where do you feel these emotions in your body? Increased heart rate, nausea, tightness in my chest, tight jaw, neck and shoulders.

4. Is this a true thought? It could become true, but in this moment, no it is not true.

5. Is this a useful thought? Definitely not, it is causing me to suffer.

6. What is the impact of this thought on the present moment: Not be able to sleep well, pain in my body, no energy, can’t think clearly, feel sick.

7. How would I feel without this thought? Rested, peaceful, relaxed in mind and body. 

8. What is the opposite of this thought? I won’t lose my job or my house during this health crisis.

9. How does it feel to sit with the opposite thought? Better, but I still feel so uncertain.

10. What is a way to reframe this thought? Although I am afraid of losing my job, in this moment I am still employed and for that I am grateful. If I do lose my job, I will deal with that circumstance at that time.

11. What three things can I do now to prepare for if the thought comes true? If I do lose my job due to current unstable economy three things I can do now to prepare are: 1. look up how to file for unemployment, 2. update my resume, 3. look at my budget and see where I can immediate reduce expenses and create savings to prepare.

Notice how much different it is to be with the thought in a mindful way and engage with creative problem-solving? This process allows you to engage with the thought in a proactive responsive way rather than remaining in reactive-mode, which is emotional, stifling and illogical. 

When you practice this technique regularly, it will help to bring you into a more grounded, present-moment focused mind frame. This technique is helpful to practice anytime you are experiencing fear-based, anxiety provoking, catastrophizing thoughts. 

When you go into problem-solving mode you create more hope and experience less fear. The next time that you find you are stuck in a negative thought cycle, use this technique and end with finding solutions. Notice how this allows you to put your mind at ease and feel more in control and empowered.