Recently I was huffing and struggling my way through a tough interval on my exercise bike, and just when I was considering taking it easy—the class instructor said (I’m paraphrasing here) —“what feels like a struggle, what you might be experiencing as pain right now, will show up tomorrow as strength in both your body AND for how you show up for yourself.” (Thank you, Tunde!) In that exact moment, when it was feeling really hard, I thought WOW, that’s just what I needed to hear. Here encouragement reminded me of my own physical and inner strength to persevere through a challenge so I can reach my desire to get stronger.
That moment on my bike I was reminded that I can handle discomfort, that I can create strength and believe in myself. I can trust myself to handle being uncomfortable in order to grow, and that I’m not just doing this to check the exercise block off my to-do list. I’m choosing to show up for myself through exercise to be strong, healthy, powerful, and confident. What she said really was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment to not give up. It was so motivating, it felt so supportive and was such a powerful reminder that I can trust myself to put in the work, that I could do it, and that my future self will actually feel better for enduring something difficult. In that moment I felt myself tune into my inner strength— and I did it—even though it was super hard—and quite uncomfortable.
After the class I really did feel stronger, and proud that I stuck it out and got through the hardest part—with the support and motivation from the instructor. I was struck by how this relates to the exact same process of therapy, how what feels like struggle and pain to work through emotionally today becomes our inner strength, resiliency, personal power, and resourcefulness tomorrow.
EMDR therapy, or really any therapy, where you are processing difficult experiences or emotions, can be painful during the heart of the work. When reprocessing a painful experience, or talking through and processing distressing memories or uncomfortable feeling states, the work really can be uncomfortable. Therapy requires vulnerability, feeling at times painful and uncomfortable emotions, and this is definitely not easy. However, the distress and discomfort lessen with time, and through the therapeutic process and the willingness to be with the pain, what was once experienced as painful and uncomfortable can transform into resiliency, self-compassion, and self-worth on the other side of that discomfort.
Showing up for yourself and doing the inner work builds confidence — and some very powerful inner strength. When we are stuck in any undesirable pattern such as emotional eating, or numbing out emotions, pain or trauma with anything, it is often a call to look inward, to acknowledge the struggle and to begin along a path towards healing.
Making the choice to heal starts with a decision. A decision that living with the discomfort of the past or self-sabotaging patterns is more uncomfortable than facing it head on and working through it. The exploration of the inner workings of our own minds, delving into how our trauma or emotional struggles are impacting our relationship to food, or any other harmful patterns, are connected to what is desiring to be observed, worked through, and healed. That decision requires a willingness to be uncomfortable as you engage with the healing process. Approaching the inner work with the knowing that what feels uncomfortable today can translate to inner strength, increased self-worth, confidence, and more inner peace and joy for your future self, makes it feel worth the discomfort. Knowing this, that there will be a return on your investment in healing allows engaging with the discomfort and pain to feel more doable and worthwhile.
The way out of internal suffering and to heal the past is a willingness to walk through your inner wounds and learn, grow, and invite in the release. Through change you can build the hope and inner strength you need to press forward. When you go through the process of identifying where your struggles or traumas are showing up and holding you back in life, you begin to build self-awareness. When you confront where you are playing smaller than you may be had you not endured emotional wounding, you build empowerment. When you can identify where your pain has been so unbearable that you have been avoiding, suppressing, and repressing because of fear, you can begin to ease into doing the inner work so that you can truly, deeply heal. When you can see how the patterns of emotional eating, or any other emotional avoidance began, through self-awareness you can begin to work towards the change you desire.
If you are feeling hopeful that healing might be possible, you might benefit from reaching out, finding a therapist or other support, to help you sort through this baggage and make better sense of it. If you are tired of being stuck in a self-sabotaging cycle of emotional eating or any other emotional avoidance, and you are repeating patterns or feeling stuck in general, you just might find that engaging with the healing process is just what you need.
Finding a safe place to address any emotional pain, struggles, and fears allows you to step into a space of empowerment, confidence, a feeling of unconditional worthiness and wholeness that you may never have thought was possible. Take some time to consider what patterns are showing up in your life that you could benefit from increased self-awareness in order to feel a deeper connection with your true self, and maybe take that first step towards healing today.
Just like physical exercise, there is no way to get stronger other than to put in the work, the effort, the consistency, and the dedication to show up for yourself. This is how you create the change you want. When you allow yourself to be with the discomfort, feel it, embrace it, and move forward, you will become stronger. Changing patterns takes first a decision that you want to change, then it is helpful to find support, and then keep showing up for yourself over and over again. You are worth becoming the mentally and emotionally healthiest version of yourself, the version that you desire in mind, body, and spirit.